Oh please don't get me wrong. I am still being responsible. The kiddos are all fed, the house is somewhat picked up, food is being done, therefore dishes are being washed, and of course no one is naked so I'm taking care of laundry too; BUT.....I'm tired.
I feel like I'm in a loosing battle with who I want to be and the life that I am living. No, I'm not in a bad place. No, I'm not saying that I don't love my husband or that I want to leave. No, I am not running away from my life, on the contrary, I'm purposing to embrace it more.
I'm not adulting. I am trying to remember what makes me smile. I'm dancing in the kitchen more, even when I am made fun of for looking like an old chicken! I am singing to songs that I love, even when I am being told I sound like a dying goat, which in all honesty I do because we all know I can't sing! I am choosing a day at the play park and McDonald's (ICK!) over cleaning the house. I am looking at the laundry that needs to be folded and I am ignoring it and chasing the kiddos around in tickle fights. I am finding my voice and saying NO to things that I don't like, I am saying YES to what I want. I'm done adulting! I am done purposing to be just responsible. I am choosing to embrace being me.
Last night at our IF table meeting, a question was posed to us:
What would Jesus say to you if He was right here at this table right now?
I closed my eyes and felt them well with tears. I KNOW what He would say to me, He answered me in that moment.
You are enough. Now come dance with me!
So I'm done going through the motions of adulthood. I am choosing to be enough. I am choosing me. I am dancing more. I am smiling more. I am reading stories I love more (yep, corny romance books but hey.....). I am smiling more. I am laughing more. I am done adulting, I am being me!
Have you missed me?
Have you missed me?
