REMEMBERING GRANDDADDY

The first breath that a new born makes is considered the most precious gift of all.  It is the signal of something amazing; a new life that is worth celebrating.  I was recently challenged to consider that the last breath someone takes is just as beautiful.  It is the signal of the end of a beautiful life.  This breath is no more important than the first breath of life, in many ways it is the most important breath a person can take; it shows that someone here on this vast planet lived.  As many know I am a firm believer that all life is sacred.  This means that all the breaths that a person takes are sacred, special, and worth celebrating.  The first breath of life is just as breathtakingly beautiful as the last breath of life. 

This past week we have had to watch as Robert’s Granddaddy, Robert “Bob” Massey, took his last breath here on earth.  Knowing that this was his last breath here, we mourn, but we also cling to the beauty that this breath symbolizes.  Granddaddy’s last breath shows us a life that was lived; his was a life that was lived in a full and exuberant manner, and it was a beautiful life.

Granny, Granddaddy, and Lauri (Robert's Mom) at our Wedding

I met Granddaddy 21 years ago.  He was a strapping man with a big smile and an even bigger heart.  I watched him as he interacted with his first grandson, the boy that he had helped to raise and mold  into the man that he is today; the boy that I chose to spend my life with, my husband; and if I am being honest, I have always been envious of their relationship.  Granddaddy had a genuine deep love for all people, but the bond that he shared with Robert was particularly special.  Robert was the first born boy, indeed his relationship started from birth when he was named for his Granddaddy, and over the years the relationship evolved and changed from that of a little adoring boy to two men   who held each other with a deep love and a lot of respect as they navigated life’s pathways more often than not, together.

Granddaddy and Robert often butchered.  Mostly it was hogs but in spring of 2012 it was a steer.

In early 2009 he was showing us he still had it in him to be a GREAT cowboy!

The first time I remember seeing Robert away from school he was with his Granny and Granddaddy.  They were in the old gray truck doing what they loved, checking on the cows.  During the early years of our relationship I would watch as Robert and Granddaddy would gather their tack, gear, and horses to go work cows for at least two weeks.  I remember helping to clean for the last big party that was held at Granddaddy’s barn.  I remember helping to clean the barn for gospel concerts with the quartet Crimson River.  I remember the first Christmas I spent with Robert’s family, watching as Granddaddy and Robert stirred the huge cast iron pot full of swamp cabbage.  I remember watching Robert and Granddaddy butcher, working in perfect harmony side by side.  No need for words, they had worked together enough.  I remember watching Granddaddy clean the barn to prepare for our wedding.  I remember watching as Granddaddy, Uncle CL, Uncle Joe Buck, and Uncle Bill gathered together to sing at our wedding.  I remember family reunions where he introduced me as his granddaughter.  I was never an in-law to him, I was family.

Christmas of 2010 with his four great grand-kids.

I remember his joy when we gave him his first great grandchild, his baby girl.  I remember his excitement over his first great grandson, and his pride that this boy would too continue the family tradition of having the name Robert.  I remember his love of his great grandchildren, the way he would pull up to our house and honk the horn (which drove me nuts in all honesty) to haul the kiddos off to see a new calf or ride to the mailbox.  I watched him with love that shone in his eyes as he taught his great grandchildren the things that he had taught their father.  I watched him as he lovingly hauled Robert and our children into the woods to go hunting or just ride naming all the slews and hammocks he knew, into restaurants, and always to the jiffy stores for ICEES. I watched him as all five of my children climbed into his lap and patted his shirt pocket wanting either the Tic Tacs or the chewing gum awaiting him there.  I also watched as he fed them the gum or the mints, even when I asked him not to, because he was their Granddaddy. 

Summer of 2012 when he bought the kiddos Candy.  

These are my favorite photos of Granddaddy.  This was the last time I saw him ride a horse.  His horse, Socks, is too old to ride.  To me these photos show us who Granddaddy is, a true Florida Cowman!

I watched him as his body started to betray him and he could no longer do what he loved, but he still sat right in the middle of Robert and my children while supervising them as they continued on with his tradition of riding, popping a cow whip, and even butchering.  I remember the pride that he had as he talked about John Robert garnering his courage to finally ride.  I remember his joy when Maggie asked for the brand that his mother had given him, the HEART H brand.  I remember how he would brag on Ethan for his love of Lego’s and anything science related.  I remember hearing him defend the size of our family to a naysayer, commenting on how each child was so amazingly special.  I remember his laughter and joy when the little ones, Cole and Jacob,always ran into his house to see him.  The littles were always running past Granny to jump into his waiting open arms, play with his hats, and stomp around in his boots.  I watched as it got to be harder and harder for him to pick the children up.  I watched as he would walk into my house and just sit to watch the children play or do their schooling.  I watched him as he watched them, always with love.

I have watched Granddaddy laugh at the mischievousness of children, the jokes of his cousins, and the joy of life.  I have watched him as he generously fed anyone who needed a meal, sometimes to Granny's chagrin.  I have watched him as he handed what he could to those in need, never expecting anything in return.  I have watched him as he worked physically harder than any man I have known, often outworking the younger men around him.  I have watched him as he loved on my children as he willingly sang to them and imparted the knowledge that he had about the life of a  true Florida Cowman.   I have watched him in good times, great times, bad times, and hard times.    

I also watched as his health started declining.  I watched him as he stubbornly fought his body and its ultimate betrayal with his health.  When the phone call came in that his health was beyond repair, I watched as he still purposed to show his family that he loved them.  I watched him as Robert and he struggled to find the balance of their relationship, one that wasn’t defined as a little boy who adored the giant of the man that Granddaddy was, but one of a love so deep and a respect so strong, that even  disagreements and hurts couldn’t stop the love that they shared for each other; his love for our family.  I have seen so much, watched it up close and from afar, and have been amazed.

For 21 years I watched the life of Bob Massey, our Granddaddy, as he lived a life of love and purpose in front of me.  On Sunday, August 9, 2015, Granddaddy took his last breath.  This Saturday we will be gathering to celebrate his life.  Our world is a better place because he lived.  My world is a better because he lived. 

Granddaddy’s last breath was so infinitely beautiful, because we know that he is now in the arms of our Savior.  Granddaddy took his last breath here on this earth but is now  enjoying the beauty of heaven and holding his grandson, our baby Samuel.  This temporary separation is not a good bye, but a “see you soon”.  Knowing this, there is joy in our sorrow.  There is a deep love within our lives all because a man named Bob Massey, our beloved Granddaddy.