SMILES FOR A MOTHER’S HEART

We are homeschooling now.  We are a new homeschooling family that has struggled with many seemingly “easy” issues.  When do we do school?  Why should we do school?  Do we really have to do math?  Is reading all those books really that important?  On and on over the past month the questions have come and on and one I have purposed to persevere through them all.  Yes you have to do school work.  Yes math is important, just like Seth says, “Math explains the world”.  Yes you have to read.  Reading opens the door ways to the imagination and opens your mind to the world.  On and on, day after day, week after week with no end in sight, or so Mommy thought. 

Finally, here at the end of our 5^th week of school, a miracle happened.  Well, maybe not a miracle to the millions of other families that are homeschooling, but a miracle nonetheless to me!  Yesterday we took the day off.  Mommy needed a break, kids needed a break, house needed groceries.  We took our monthly food allowance and headed to two different grocery stores, coupons in hand.  Just for fun I even splurged and bought candy bars.  Something interesting happened when we got home and put everything away, the children still wanted to read.  Ummmm, okay, go ahead.  Next thing I know out comes their school books.  Hmmmm… this is an interesting development.

Now comes my miracle.  This morning I was awakened by the youngest member of our family because he had a bad dream.  After spending the night tossing and turning with feet, hands, and little knees and elbows in my back I gave up and got up.  I was tired and had a headache.  I mentioned this to the other two dear children when they awakened.  Mommy is tired, can we just take the day off?  Their answer:

I want to do math.  Aren’t we going to read our books again today?  Hey Mom, can I do just a little bit of spelling?  Why are we taking today off too, we need to do our school work?

WOW!  Talk about making this mother’s heart smile.  So like the dutiful mother I am, I showered, took some Tylenol, and tackled the day.  Math got done.  Spelling got done.  Reading got done.  And my wonderful son finished reading his first ever “big” chapter book all by himself.  He even told me what he liked about the story and all about the main characters!  What a great day!

When we brought the children home to school them, our main desire was to create in them a love of learning that will last a lifetime.  There have been days that I have prayed and asked God if we were doing the right thing.  Yet, in spite of my doubts and insecurities I pushed forward, hoping that the children would decide to love learning.  Proverbs 3:5-6 tells us to “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.  In all your ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct your paths.”

That has certainly been the case today.  Not only did God direct my paths but He gave me a miracle, a reason for this Mommy’s heart to smile.  I am not naïve, I know that there will be battles in the future.  I know that there will be days when no one wants to do any schooling but we will work to get things done.  But today, today was like a bear hug from an awesome God, and it all came from my children who made this Mommy heart smile.

MY GOOFY CHILDREN!

There is something incredibly special about being given the privilege of being a SAHM!  I work hard every day and the rewards are endless.  Where else can my pay be given in hugs, kisses, and “I love you Mommy?”  Nowhere, and it is wonderful! 

Okay, some days are more wonderful than others, and I will be the first to admit that I don’t love everything about motherhood.  I mean who loves being awakened at 12:30 am because someone has gotten sick all over their bed?  Or loves the mountains of laundry that three small people can generate, add a baby and you are washing clothes at least 100 times a day!  And the cooking, why do these people need to eat so much?  I mean you would think that once a day would be enough, but noooo….these needy people want breakfast, dinner (lunch), and supper (dinner), with a few snacks thrown in between!  Let’s be realistic here people!  I love my children but wish they came with a self cleaning and feeding mode! BUT, I digress.

What struck me today, as I was watching my children play, was how wonderfully silly, well goofy really, they are.  Take, for example, my youngest son.  After asking if he could walk to Granny’s house (which I said yes to of course), he loaded up his bag of toys and headed out.  An hour later he was home complete with the bag, missing all the toys, and carrying a small bottle of orange juice.  When I asked him if he had a good time his exact words were: “Yes Mama, but I just had to get away from you!”  See what I mean, he’s a goofy kid!  Next thing I know he and his brother are wanting to be fed (for the second time of the day) and are dressed in their pajama’s playing; well I don’t know what they were playing it was a cross between Transformers and WWF wrestlers, or something like that I think!  Made me smile!  Add into the mix my preteen daughter who always has an MP3 player stuck to her ears, her toenails polished no less than two different colors at any given moment (today they are purple and orange!  Seriously, purple and orange?!?), while reading a book to the aforementioned brothers on my bed no less; and you have a house full of goofy kids!

This, of course, led me to thinking about all the crazy wonderful things that I did when I was younger.  (For the record, I was an angel……just saying!)  Which in turn lead me to thinking about God and how He deals with us: His goofy kids!  I wonder how often he looks down on us and sees us playing at life.  We play at church, we run away from Him because “we just need to get away”, we play at our jobs, we play at well, life.  Yet He sits there waiting patiently for us to get it all together and realize that we need Him and love Him.  He smiles at us as we do silly things.  He loves us when we do wrong things.  He cares for us when things seem unchanging and unfathomable. 

I am thankful that I get to go on a daily adventure with my goofy kids.  I am thankful for forts, unmade beds, sloppy hugs, interesting song choices, laundry (did I just admit that), and well for the joy that they bring!  I’m also very thankful for the daily reminder that I am just a goofy kid too, that God loves me for a thousand reasons or more, and that I can be, well ME, and that is okay!

Now, has anyone seen where the boy has hidden the pillows from my bed since they are cubes of power that need to be protected from the evil robots invading?

MIRACLE FROM GOD!

Today we found out that our new Little Bit is going to be another boy.  Some of us in our house are not happy, mainly the girl that is now totally surrounded by brothers and boys constantly.  I must admit that I have suspected it was going to be another boy since finding out we were going to be blessed again, but I am also disappointed that it is not another girl.

This led me to thinking.  Dangerous I know, but what can I do?  Why should I be unhappy with the blessings that God is giving me?  All I want is for this little one to be healthy.  All I want is for this baby to be blessed and grow up surrounded by love.  Why then am I disappointed that it is another boy?

Here’s why…….I miss pink.  I miss dresses.  I miss little ribbons, cute pig tails, and polished little toe nails.  I miss the idea of tea parties, dress up, and baby dolls.  I miss little kitchens; Barbie’s everywhere, and well, the general paraphernalia of a little girl.  I miss the idea of little kisses and hugs wrapped in girlie giggles and Mommy / Daughter time.  I miss taking my little girl to town when she is dressed in her princess dress.  I miss being a Mommy to a little girl.

As much as I miss this, I do know what I am.  I am the proud Mommy of a beautiful young lady.  I love how grown my daughter is and how she is willing to help.  I love her spirit, how she knows what she likes and why she likes it.  I love how my daughter is not interested in boys yet; no one is as strong, handsome, or mature as her Daddy!  I love how my daughter can be delicately beautiful and then tougher than most boys.  I love how my daughter can cook up a storm, clean a house in no time flat, and still know how to hunt and fish.  I love my boys, but my little girl holds a very dear place in my heart.

We will welcome Cole James sometimes in early December.  We will love him because he will be our gift from an amazing God.  In the meantime, I will enjoy my Starbuck’s run with my daughter.  I will covet her laughter, wisdom, and maturity.  I will relish being the Mommy to only one girl, and pray that I will be the best Mommy to my darling daughter that I can be.

YES, I ADMIT IT ~ I’M NOT PERFECT!

Okay, I will admit it.  There are days that I struggle with, well, life!  I work very hard to balance home, school, housework, homeschooling, being the encouraging wife, laundry, dishes, cooking, and laundry.  Did I mention laundry?  When I want to do something for me, I feel like I just don’t have the time.  Who can find the time to be everything to everyone?  Some days I feel totally overwhelmed, exhausted, and yes in spite of a house full of children alone.

Today has been one of those days.  Oh it is nothing in particular.  Maybe it is the rain.  Maybe it is the fact that the laundry that I folded and put into the appropriate child’s basket still has not been put away.  Maybe it’s the fact that I realized that I have not sat down to scrapbook for 3 years.  Maybe it’s because I am missing the “me” time that I was always able to find when we just had 2 children and I wasn’t in school full time.  Maybe….well maybe it is a lot of things.  In spite of this today has been a day of struggles.  Oh there is nothing in particular, just a blah day.

This has lead me to thinking about a lot of things.  Why am I so blah?  Haven’t I been abundantly blessed with everything that I desire?  Didn’t I always want to grow up?  Well, I’m grown!  Didn’t I always want to be a mom?  Been there, done that times four now!  Didn’t I always want to be a teacher?  Doing that too!  Why am I so blah?

The answer is simple, I’M NOT PERFECT!  To those of you who know me, this will not come as a big surprise.  I am not Super Mom!  I am not Super Woman!  I am just me, purposing to honor God the only way that I know how and be obedient to His call on my life.  For me that means washing clothes, doing dishes, cooking more food to be devoured by three hungry children, washing more clothes, educating aforementioned children, and deciding that yes I am worth the time to try to carve out some scrapbook time!

I know that I am not done running the race set before me!  I know that I cannot grow weary while doing good, although on days like today I am tempted to do just that!  I know that I am not perfect, but I know that I don’t have to be!  Jesus said that His yoke was easy and that His burden was light.  So on my not so perfect blah days, I can run to Him and be okay! 

 YES, I ADMIT IT ~ I’M NOT PERFECT, but that is what makes me wonderful and I know that it is okay!  JESUS IS PERFECT~ HE’S THE ONLY ONE THAT MATTERS ANYWAY!

PREGNANANCY AND JESUS: They are more alike than we realize!

Pregnancy has a way of taking the focus off of me and putting it onto someone else, the miraculous person that God is allowing me to create with Him.  Why do we allow our lives to get so focused on ourselves that we forget the big picture?  In short, it is because of our selfish, sin filled nature. 

In Ephesians we read that we do not battle against things of this world but against the powers and principalities of darkness.  If this is the case, why do we not think that there is a battle for our thoughts and our desires?  Should we not realize that the Evil One is after all of us?  If he can cripple us to the point of not being able to function, of being so trapped in ourselves that we cannot survive without the approval of others, than he has succeed and we are nothing.

Okay, I know what you are thinking, what on earth does this have to do with being pregnant?   Here’s the thing, when a woman is pregnant she is overtaken by someone else.  My actions are not based on what is good for me and me alone, but now I worry about what is beneficial to the baby as well.  I desire and want to do different things.  For example, I LOVE garlic in any food.  BUT, being pregnant right now, my body rejects anything that has to do with garlic.  I also LOVE sweet tea.  Being Southern this is my nectar from heaven.  Guess what I have not been able to drink!?  As a matter of fact, I can only have one glass of decaffeinated tea a day!  The rest of my day is spent drinking at least 1 ½ gallons of water!   This is not who I usually am.  I am changed because of the overflowing life that is within me.

The same is true when I am filled with the overflowing power of Jesus Christ.  I am taken over by someone else.  It is not what I want that matters any more.  Just like while I am pregnant my tastes change, having Christ in my life changes me.  I see things differently.  No longer do I want to do everything that the world thinks that I should do.  I want to live more for what Christ desires. 

Are there days when I want what I want?  Of course, BUT on these days I need to spend time on my knees focusing on Christ instead of me.  Not always easy when the world around me bombards me with images of what I am supposed to be.  If my house is not spotless, if I am not driving a brand new car, if I am not raising 2.5 children, than I am a failure.  BUT, this is not what Christ says.  Christ says that I am to take up my cross and follow Him.  I am to not worry about how my home looks but open it up to showcase the love of Christ to others.  I am to not worry about what kind of car I drive, but how am I using the car is what matters.  I am not to limit myself to what is “normal” when it comes to my family; I am to allow Christ to choose how many miracles He wants me to have.  I am to die to myself and my wants and desires (like how I desire a great big glass of sweet tea), and live daily for Christ.  He is to overflow my life.  He is to be the only one that I worry about.

This is how pregnancy and Christ are similar.  They change a person, from the inside out.  Just as my belly grows with the image of a new life; my heart, mind, and actions need to grow showcasing the love and actions of Christ.  It is within the confines of this outgrowth of Christ that I can grow lovelier.  I am a Daughter of the King.  It is time I reflect that daily.  It is time that I showcase my pregnancy belly proudly.  It is time I showcase my Christ even more proudly!

The Road to Healing

          Within all of us is the nature to hold onto our anger, our bitterness, and our hatred.  It is in grained in all of us, to do what is right in our own eyes.  The Bible makes it very clear that we will always be willing to what is right in our own strength.  We often try to rely on our own wisdom instead of seeking help from others.  Our days become battle plagued as our minds battle with the wisdom that God wants to impart on our lives.  Proverbs 14:12 states: “There is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to death.” (NIV)  Our own strength, our own choices, our own wisdom will lead us to sin; sin leads us to death.

          What can we do?  Recently we have been battling this very issue in our home.  There have been days that anger has been at the forefront of our minds.  We have been dealing with hurt feelings which in turn lead to anger and then bitterness.  We have wrestled with admitting that we are sin filled.  We have wrestled with the fact that we need to admit that we too have played a part in the issue.  There are days when we need to admit that there are times that we need to be changed more than the person that we are mad at.

          The good news is that the cross is big enough to bear all our sin!  The good news is that: “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” (1 John 1:9 NIV)  All we need to do is be willing to run to God, confess that we have done some wrong things, cling to Him and His promise of forgiveness; then we will be okay.  Yet, we don’t want to have to do the confessing.  We want to cling to our anger.  Why?  Simply because it feels good.  Sin leaves us with the desire to turn into ourselves and shy away from God.  This is why we don’t want to confess anything; we want to hide our faces and our shame.  Yet it is in this hiding that we do the most damage.  We carry our pain and hide from the God that wants to set us free.

          We are on the verge of some amazing things in our house.  We are on the verge of purging our home from past bitterness, old hurts, and old regrets.  We need to learn to be more committed to flowing Christ.  In Him and Him alone will the healing that we need take place.  After all, “Jesus looked at them and said, "With man this is impossible, but not with God; all things are possible with God."  (Mark 10:27 NIV)

CATCHING UP ON LIFE

It has been a while since I have shared my thoughts about life with everyone.  Don’t get me wrong, it’s not that I haven’t had a lot of thoughts or a lot happening in our lives, BUT, I have been so down and even busy that I just have not felt much like sharing.  Not a very good blogger am I?  Okay, here goes the rundown of the past few months.

In March after Grandpa’s death I had the privilege to celebrate my birthday.  I am not going to share exactly how old I am, but those of you who know me already know!  It was a little rough being so close to the time that Grandpa passed away, but it was a wonderful time anyway.  To make up for the lack of “fun” at this time of year, my amazing husband got me my new ruby bracelet.  It was something that I have been wanting for a very long time and I was most excited to get such an amazing gift!

In April we celebrated the Resurrection of our Lord and Savior.  This was a lovely day, quiet and low key.  Something’s were going on with Mommy and life was not as it should have been.  SURPRISE!!!  At the end of the month we found out that we were expecting baby #4!  What an amazing gift to be given.  All three children were very excited, and have even named the baby “Little Bit”.  Robert was also very excited.  All in all it was a great, albeit busy month!

In May we had the unique privilege of celebrating E-Man’s 4^th birthday!  Oh my how time does fly.  Of course we had a wonderful party complete with pizza and Transformers.  We also had our first ultrasound and determined that Little Bit is due in December, the 8^th to be exact.  December is a busy month for us.  Robert’s Granddaddy’s birthday is Dec. 3^rd, our 14^th anniversary is Dec. 5^th, Robert’s Granny’s birthday is Dec. 8^th, and his Aunt and Uncles anniversary is Dec. 9^th.  Needless to say we are hoping that Little Bit makes his or her arrival around the 10^th or so.  I have been diagnosed with anemia and dehydration so I have been feeling really, really bad.

Now we are in the swing of summer, dealing with Florida’s incredible heat and humidity.   We are looking at starting our new homeschool year the first week in July since Little Bit is due in December.  We are using the Sonlight curriculum and have had the fun and privilege of opening two boxes from Fed Ex that had over 100 pounds of books.  Needless to say, we had to purchase two new book shelves for around the dining room table!  The children have been looking through their books for days, I have to shoo them out of them constantly!  We are looking forward to taking a mini family vacation in July, possibly going to the beach again.  Robert and I are going to be taking a Baby-moon to St. Augustine as well.  Since we can’t get away for our anniversary, we are going to get away after Robert’s birthday.

All in all, it has been a very busy few months!  I promise that I will purpose to not be gone so long, or at least try to not be gone so long!  If we have learned nothing else in these past few months it is that God is faithful, He is in control, and His timing and blessings are always on time and perfect!!!  All in all we have been abundantly blessed!  Talk to you all soon!