Mingling of Souls Weekend

This past weekend Robert and I attended a marriage conference facilitated by Matt and Lauren Chandler.  Sadly, we missed the first two sessions on Friday night because of Robert having to work late and having puny kiddos, but we were able to escape for the last two sessions on Saturday.  We enjoyed the conference, we really did, but I enjoyed knowing that we’ve been doing some things right within our relationship because of who we are in Christ.

Robert and I married young.  I was 19 and he was 20.  We celebrated out 18^th wedding anniversary last December.  We made a lot of mistakes in our early years, but some things that stood out to me were the things that we were doing right.  In reality our premarital counseling wasn’t that great, you know: Robert tell Jennifer she’s pretty and Jennifer don’t forget to cook for Robert kind of advice.   We had to learn a lot of things on our own and as a result, we were able to walk away from the weekend with a new respect for each other and the work that we’ve put into our 18 years of marriage and 22 years of being Robert and Jennifer.

Our wedding, December 5, 1997.

  Some of the advice that we took away from the weekend is NOT to grow lazy in our relationship.  We date each other.  Not every week, although we do try to do that, but at least twice a month.  We flirt with each other.  Not in an overt way, but the subtle way of fun texts, grabbing each other’s hands,  grossing the kids out with some slight affection (in our own home of course), and laughing together as much as we can.  We try to break up the monotony of our lives.  We purpose to go away at least every other year for a weekend.  We need that escape; it gives us a chance to reconnect as Robert and Jennifer the couple.  We’ve changed over the years.  Robert isn’t the shy 20 year old groom and I’m not the naïve 19 year old bride.  We are maturing adults complete with all the responsibility that comes with adulthood.  We have the cars, the mortgage, the kids, the pets, and the bills that all come with being a married couple.  Taking that weekend off gives us time to reconnect not in our roles but as to who we are.  I love that we do this, and truthfully I wish we could do it more often!

Our weekend away in Gainesville almost six years ago to attend some friends wedding.

The last piece of advice that was really profound to me was that we need to guard against laziness in our relationship.  It is so easy to take each other for granted.  Every day we need to purpose to build each other up.  I am not the best at this as I should be.  Oftentimes I feel overwhelmed with my life and don’t always think to encourage and love Robert through his.  Yet, we are in this life together.  I couldn’t be the woman that God created me to be if I didn’t have Robert as a husband.  Not being a lazy wife is something that I really do need to work on, and I’m purposing to remind Robert of how amazing he is at least once a day!  The only way I can do this is to remember who I am in Christ and the grace that He has extended to me.  Through this grace I can overlook the faults and see the amazing man that he is and encourage him to be the man that God created him to be.   This is how we can guard against laziness, by purposefully looking for the good, being an active participant in each other’s lives, and still purposing to love each other; no matter what!

Just a Friday night date after the business of Christmas.

Robert and I really did enjoy the conference this past weekend.  It was a moment in time where we could focus on ourselves and how we can continue to grow in our marriage.  Loving each other is a choice.  It’s a choice that we’ve made every day for the last 18 or so years of our marriage.  It’s my prayer that we will have another 50 years of life together; the good, the bad, the messy, the fun, and most of all the love.