THE GREAT BIRTHDAY WEEKEND

Last year at this time our lives were torn upside down and life was not easy.  This year, there was some trepidation about having “big” birthday parties and celebrations.  BUT, since this year was so important and special (after all, one child was now a TEEN and one child was hitting double digits!), we forged on and made this the weekend of birthday’s to remember!

First of all, our new teenager!  Maggie is now 13!  In spite of not wanting to have a party, we planned a girl’s weekend!  We picked up Maggie’s best friend from school on Friday and had a great time partying all weekend long.  Our Friday started off with lunch out (just Mama, Maggie, and the boys), followed by some serious shopping at Kohls, and then a trip to the library to find some new books.  Then we picked up her best friend and let the giggling and fun begin.  We opened presents, listened to the girls rock out to music, giggle about boys and their craziness, and then headed out to eat at I HOP (of all places, HA!).  Then the girls giggled until late in the evening, woke up on Saturday bright and early (thanks to the boys), and had fun partying to celebrate John Robert!

 

Getting ready for a girl's night out!

BUT, first things first: PRESENTS!!!!

The boys got Maggie some fun and funky earrings.

Mama and Daddy got Maggie some much needed new shoes and clothes.

 

We had to celebrate John Robert’s birthday “early” this year since Robert is on call next week when John Robert officially turns 10.  At first we weren’t going to have a party, but then John Robert decided that he wanted a baseball themed party.  So I got to work, made lots of party decorations, cleaned the house, and set up our house for the party.  Even though two friends weren’t able to make it, the party was a huge success and everyone left full and happy!  No one was happier than John Robert who made out like a bandit in the gift department, especially with birthday cash!

Setting up the candy buffet.

Food, Food, and MORE FOOD!  It was yummy too!

He's in DOUBLE DIGITS!

John Robert has been up since 7:00 this morning waiting for gifts! 

New clothes and shoes from Mama and Daddy!

The best gifts: MONEY CARDS!

Party aftermath....not too bad!

All in all, we have had a busy weekend of birthday fun!  As exhausted as this Mama is (and believe me, I’m whipped!  HA!), I am still overjoyed at the joy that has permeated our home this weekend.  As I was lying in bed last night I was crying as I thanked God for His blessings this year. I praised Him for the joy and laughter that filled our home, just one year after November brought unspeakable sadness.  I wept at the sounds of laughter and giggles, not because I was sad but because I really felt like God was brining joy in the morning of our lives.  We have had a GREAT birthday weekend, and all the joy comes from Christ! 

 

ONE YEAR: REMEMBERING SAMUEL

If you would have told me one year ago that I would be remembering the death of my child, I would have scoffed at you.  After all, we were happily waiting for one week from today to find out the gender of our newest Best, not to learn of his death.  BUT, today, exactly one year ago that is what happened.  We were handed the gift of walking through the death of our child, our son Samuel.

This past year has in no way been easy.  We have cried more than we thought possible. I have cried more than I thought possible.  I have cried over baby commercials, the sounds of infants cooing, laughing, and gurgling.  When we got to meet our new niece, I rejoiced with my brother-in-law and sister-in-law over their gift, and then sobbed on the ride home since their baby’s birth was due to be close to mine.  Their precious little one was here, on this earth to be snuggled and kissed.  My precious little one was taken from me and is waiting in the arms of my Savior.  I have peace in that, I have peace because of that; but it still hurts.

 

There are some things that I have learned as I have walked this path of grief this past year and grief is an odd thing.  In Christ and in Christ alone I can find the strength to breathe, but there are moments that it is hard to gasp for air.  There are moments, even still when my body is expanding to accommodate a new son to be born into our family, that I think of my Samuel and sob.  I should be holding my bouncing 7 month old in my arms, telling him about his new brother coming.  Instead I find myself (especially as we get the baby items out and get things washed and “ready” for Jacob), calling Jacob Samuel and having my children correct me.  As we have gotten closer and closer to this day, I have called him Samuel more and more, and I have wept.

I have had to defend myself and my children to family with their attitude of “YOU SHOULD BE OVER THIS BY NOW!”  My children, husband, and I will NEVER be “over this!”  We lost a child, a person, a gift from God.  Even though we never held him in our arms, we have always held him in our hearts and never wanted to see him taken from us.  We still grieve and mourn him although it is not in a public way anymore. We all miss seeing the person that he could have been.  To have to defend ourselves or hear those words is heart breaking and callous.  It is cruelty that is like heaping salt onto an open wound.  Yet, endure it we have.  I, indeed my whole family, will grieve in our own time table and in our own manner.  We are still grieving to this day.

 

I have had to endure snide remarks about the impending arrival of our newest addition.  I have lived in fear daily that he will be taken from me too.  Not a day goes by that I do not wonder if I will lose Jacob, if it is wrong for me to be happy about his upcoming birth, if I am trying to replace Samuel, if I will be able to really love him.  There is not a day that goes by that I don’t question or doubt myself and my ability to be a Mother, not just to Jacob but to all my children.  Add to this the snide comments that are made about the size of our family, how crazy we are to be having another child, and if we don’t know what causes this; and I mourn even harder.  I want to scream that I am not the mother of FIVE but SIX!  This is not my FOURTH son but my FIFITH son.  BUT, I do not rally against the remarks, hurtful comments, blame put on me; instead I endure them quietly and weep even more for what I have lost.

On this day, one year ago, I lost my fourth son, Samuel.  He was loved from the moment that we found out of his coming into our lives.  He was and has been wept for and missed ever since he was born into Heaven.  I never had the privilege of holding him in my arms, but I will forever hold him in my heart.  And I will weep and mourn for him daily until I get to see him, resting comfortably in the arms of my Jesus. 

Please do not mistake my quiet acceptance of this situation as strength.  Indeed, when it comes to my children I am the weakest of women.  But in my weakness, Christ is allowed to showcase His strength through me.  It is because of Christ and Christ alone that I have survived this past year.

Mama loves you Samuel.  I miss you my sweet little one!

THE BLESSINGS OF LARGE FAMILIES SHOWCASING GOD’S LOVE!

Yesterday Robert and I had to attend a birthing refresher course something that I will admit that we both chuckled over since this our fifth little one.  BUT, we enjoyed the morning off and learning things about labor that we had never thought of before.  We also enjoyed meeting the other expectant parents and laughed at their awe of our family size (most of them were on their second or third little one).  We also smiled as the midwife and birth assistant discussed WHY larger families have such a “fun” and “neat” family dynamic.  When we came home our four little ones were waiting on us and couldn’t wait to see what we had learned.  Then the fun began.

My three oldest, one named E-Man in particular, was ready for us to get all the newborn clothes out for Jacob.  What can I say we got them out; we sorted, we organized, and then today we washed four loads of laundry all for Jacob.  What made it even more “fun” for me was that all I had to do was fold the laundry, E-Man put them all in the washer, dryer, and then into Jacob’s dresser and onto the changing table.  He is that excited!

This lead Robert and I to a discussion about an article that I recently read about a population crisis in Japan, there are literally hardly any children being born.  What struck me was that the older people of Japan are hiring people our age to “be” their grandchild for the day.  The article also discussed how the upcoming generations have no interest in marriage or children.  In fact, most of them have no interest in anything past a platonic relationship.  This amazed me in light of what was happening here in my home.

I see the dynamic of my family.  I see their excitement with the addition of our newest son, even though it is another boy.  So far there has been no jealousy, no malice, and no comments asking why are you having more kids!  In fact, there is just the opposite.  I have children asking us to give them at least five more brothers and hopefully a sister.  Seriously, my kiddos want us to have 10 kids!  I have children that are discussing what their new jobs are going to be when the baby gets here, asking if they will be allowed to babysit, wash clothes, and even bathe the baby.  In comparison to a nation that seemingly does not want children, my family is asking for more!

I know that the size of our family is not right for everyone.  I know that there are people who are content with their family size.  I am not sharing this to make people want more children, I am sharing this to show why WE want to allow God to give us the children that He has for us.  For our family, it’s not about us.  It’s all about God and His love pouring through us into our family.  And I for one think that this example, the unabashed joy my children have because of a new baby coming into our home is amazing.  I also totally think that it is the result of a loving God who loves us and, our children, and our families more than we realize.

To answer the questions that I get often, no I am not sure that we are done.  Not I’m not sure that we will not be having at least one more child, if not more than that, I honestly don’t know.  And not knowing is okay.  My God knows, just as He knows the joy that my children are experiencing because of the upcoming arrival of a new baby.  For me, that is enough.

I STAND AMAZED!

Every day I stand amazed in the awe of my children.  They are growing and maturing in more ways than I can imagine.  Of course I think that they are amazing, after all they are my children, but even people who don’t really know them step back and watch them in pure amazement.  (Okay, maybe pure amazement is probably an exaggeration, but most people think that they are really cool at the very least!)

Take for example my oldest son, John Robert.  My boy who is almost in double digits (he’ll be ten in about three weeks) is one who is showing responsibility in more and more ways.  Like yesterday morning, he got up at 7:00 to get his school work done so he could help me with Cole since Maggie has injured herself again.  He amazes me in his caring attitude and loving heart.

Or take Maggie, my precious oldest daughter who is almost a youth, not a teenager.  In spite of being injured and in intense pain, (The ER said her foot is only sprained not broken, BUT we are supposed to take her to the orthopedic surgeon for only a sprain?  I don’t understand doctors, but I digress.), she is still trying to wash dishes and help with Cole. 

And Ethan, my sweet little man who offers to rub my feet almost daily.  NO, he doesn’t do a great job and yes he usually gets lotion everywhere, but he offers and shows that love.  He also is the one who jumps up when I say I need XYZ done in the house.  Like cleaning the bathroom or unloading the dishwasher.  He’s my helper.

Add to the mix my Cole man who loves to run grab your legs and say “TWO” at every chance throughout the day.  (TWO is his way of saying I LOVE YOU TWO, sweet isn’t it)?  He has not learned this in a home that is not full of love; he has learned this because he is shown love not only by his parents but his brothers and sister.

Yes, I stand in amazement at my children.  More than that, I stand in amazement at what God is doing within the hearts of my children!

This morning in our Bible study we picked up where we left off in John 4 and the story of the Samaritan woman.  We talked about how Christ said that the harvest is ripe, how some sow and some reap.  We talked about how what we do and say affects our relationships with people in a very real way.  We talked about how serving others showcase the love of Christ to a dying world, how we don’t always know the impact that we will have on someone, and why we need to love no matter what; even when we don’t want to.

The insights that my awesome children showed as we discussed this left me in awe, and again I stand amazed at my children.  We discussed how people in our lives claim to love God but choose to not make an effort to show anyone, let alone tell their face.  We talked about people in our lives say that they love Christ but won’t reach out to anyone other than the people in their immediate circle.  We talked about how our hearts hurt over the pain that we see, at the Care Center, with Compassion International, and even with Samaritans Purse and OCC.  Then we talked about how we need to be willing to walk the walk MORE than we talk the talk.

I know that this is not easy.  I know that we all fail daily.  BUT, I am so thankful that my children are getting it.  I am so thankful that in spite of the naysayers (and believe me there are many and I DO KNOW that they talk about us or more specifically me) the heart changes in my children are amazing.  I am thankful that God called us to walk this journey of homeschooling and that He is allowing us to cultivate such a heart of love in our home.  More than that, I stand in amazement, in pure awe of my God who has given me the gift of my children.  I pray that He finds me worthy of this calling.

Operation Christmas Child

Let me preface this by saying that I know and understand that there are causes that are local and people with many needs within our own small community that need help.  Knowing this, Robert and I support and encourage our children to help work at our local Care Center.  We also encourage our children to think globally, there are people hurting everywhere.  One of our family favorite missions’ minded yearly projects is that of Operation Christmas Child or OCC.

If you want to learn more about OCC, I’d encourage you to check out their website, look here. 

 

I can tell you this is a project that the children and I all LOVE to participate in.  There is something so amazing about taking my children to Wal-Mart, Target, or any other Dollar Store and telling them to pick things out and pack a shoebox.  Oftentimes these shoe boxes (think about it, only ONE SHOEBOX), is the only gift this child will receive for that year, or maybe even their entire lifetime.  My children LOVE this mission’s minded shopping trip.  We pack the boxes with practical things.  We buy toothbrushes, soap, toothpaste, washcloths, band aids, and any other practically minded thing that we can think of.  Then we head to the toys section.  Oh, to see my children excited to be shopping for children who won’t get any gifts other than these!  We will get yo-yo’s, crayons, jump ropes, jacks, candy, balls, baby dolls, coloring books, puzzles, and any other “small” item that we can think of to fit into a shoebox.  Oftentimes we buy “extra” so that the shoeboxes that our church packs will have enough too.  Then the kiddos come home, pack up their boxes, and we will place them on the altar at church to be prayed over before they are shipped out.

I love this project for so many reasons.  I love watching the videos of the children who receive the shoeboxes.  The joy on their faces is so contagious!  When they cry because they are amazed that a stranger loved them enough to send them a gift, I sob too!  When these precious little ones laugh, dance, clap, and jump for joy over what they have in a shoebox; I want to sing, jump, and dance for joy with them.  I also love watching the joy that is seen in my own children’s faces.  Their joy as they pack shoeboxes, as they talk about what they bought for this precious unknown child and how they hope it blesses them; I smile at the peace that permeates our home.  More than that, I love how packing a simple shoebox allows us to talk about so many lessons on love, Christ, and His heart for us to GO and TELL about His love!

It’s not too late to pack a shoebox!  There is still time to bring indescribable joy to a precious child.  Our family is packing boxes this weekend.  Will you?

SMALL BLESSINGS

This morning we continued our Bible study time in the book of John.  The kiddos and I read some verses to start off our school days and then spend time in prayer for people and each other.  We do this every morning, with a change on Monday’s when we read a story about a famous missionary.  This morning I had to go “hide” to call Robert and tell him, they get it…..they’ve been listening!

Our day started off as any other typical busy day.  Well, we did start a little bit later than normal since all the big kiddos spent the night with Aunt Lanie since she is down for a quick visit from GA.  At about 10:00 I called the kiddos together for Bible.  I asked them what they remembered about the story we read yesterday about David Livingston.  E-Man remembered that he cut open the chief’s daughter’s belly to remove her sickness (appendix).  John Robert remembered that he was tough enough to stay awake after a lion attacked him to tell the others around him how to sew his wounds shut and set his broken shoulder bones.  Maggie remembered that he was always deflecting thanks and praise from himself to God, giving glory to Christ for all things!  I was impressed with what they remembered.

Next we turned to John Chapter 3 where Jesus overturned the money changers tables in the temple.  We read the story and discussed what Christ actions means to us today.  We talked about character, how we choose to respond to sin and people shows our true character.  Then we discussed what a Godly man looks like.  This is where I had to gasp, they are getting it!  The kiddos all talked about men that they know.  They pointed out what they see in each of these men, the good or the bad, and how their actions and character impact their lives.  John Robert even mentioned that, just like Pastor Larry teaches, at the midnight hour some of them have to know the truths about themselves. 

Now is where my children surprised me.  With no prompting from me, they asked me how they could develop truly Godly character.  Then they told me that they see that character in a very important man, their Daddy.   They talked to each other about serving and helping others, about what’s important and what matters.  They prayed for each other and for our family.  They gave me a small blessing, the blessing of seeing how Christ is at work in our home, even on slow starting ordinary Tuesday’s!

BIRTHDAY’S, BIRTHDAY’S, and ANOTHER BIRTHDAY!

We are entering our most wonderful time of the busy year!  We have three birthday’s coming up!  I have one that will be a teenager soon.  Yep, we are about to embark into the “dreaded” teenage years.  I personally don’t see what they big deal about teens is!  She is pretty cool!  BUT, onto her birthday!  She doesn’t want a party.  She would rather have a Mommy/Daddy date night at Carreba’s.

Then a week later we have one turning 1o!  Oh man, double digits!  He wants a baseball birthday party.  So I am in the planning mode, making invitations, and printables, and ordering the party supplies.  We will be playing some “fun” games at this party, (like noodle ball), and I know that the birthday boy will have a blast!

Fast forward three weeks after that to the first week in December and we will have someone turning two!  Yep, it’s time for the terrible two’s!  This little one is having a SILLY MONSTER party!  I LOVE the things that we have made, and I think that the theme is adorable!  We will have this party at the play park since it is in December, I think the cooler weather will be fun to run and play in!

So, there you have it!  In the next two months I will have two children who are in double digits and a two year old!  Stay tuned for more birthday fun!!!