FAMILY!

It has been brought to my attention that people think that my family dynamic is an oddity.  Robert and I decided to allow God to determine our family size.  This is an ideal that leaves many people scratching their heads and looking at us like we are crazy.  More often than not we hear how the kiddos are ruining our lives; each pregnancy is a burden, and my personal favorite that we are selfish for having more than two kids.  This is something that honestly flabbergasts me.  How is caring for another person, someone created in the image of God, known by the Creator before the foundations of the world, and destined for His purpose, selfish?

There are few things that can make me smile as much as my husband and my children.  Each one of our five kiddos is so unique, so totally themselves, and so totally awesome that it is impossible to NOT look at them and smile.  My husband, having no desire to have more than two kids when we first married almost 19 years ago, amazes me with his parenting style and love for his kiddos.  The other day the kiddos and I were talking that if each one of them marries and has at least four kiddos each, Robert and I will have 24 grand-kids.  Most people would balk at that.  I on the other hand, got excited.  What a legacy!  What an amazing blessing! What a gift to pass on our family love to that many little people.  Those little people have the opportunity to grow up and change the world.  All because of Robert and me, the world can be mightily impacted.  That is a humbling thought.  That is an amazing thought.   Our family is uniquely imperfect and I adore it.

I love having a “large” family, although in my opinion we don’t have that big of a family.  I love how my kiddos are learning to work together to care for each other and even our extended family.  I love how they look to each other to build friendships.  I love how they come to Robert and me for advice.  I love how our relationships work together to make our lives what they are.  I love how the kiddos pitch in to help.  I love how Robert doesn’t complain when the house isn’t absolutely perfect.  I love how he purposes to spend time with his kids and let them be who they are.  I love how the kids don’t complain that they have to pitch in more because I’m in the first trimester blah feeling.  I love how excited the kiddos are at the idea of another new baby.  I love how they can’t wait and are talking about what they can do when the new baby gets here. 

I know that our family isn’t perfect. On any given day there is sand everywhere in the house, boys running naked because I just can’t keep them in clothes, fights breaking out because someone looked at someone wrong, touched them, or breathed their air, and my personal favorite; the wrestling never that never stops, EVER. I know that our lifestyle isn’t for everyone.  There are days that I get tired of laundry and cooking.  There are days when I would gladly ship all the children away, if I could find someone to take them all at once, ha!  I know that my lifestyle is crazy, chaotic, hectic, and just plain nuts!  But I wouldn’t trade my life for anything.  I honestly can’t imagine my life without all my little ones.  I don’t know how I would manage if we would’ve listened to the naysayers and stopped after John Robert.  I honestly cannot imagine this world without Ethan, Cole, and Jacob. 

I love that we aren’t the typical American family.  I love that we are having another baby.  I love that my kiddos are as excited as they are.  I love how our family dynamic works.  I love how the kiddos all come together to take care of things, most of the time without complaint.  I love how excited everyone is to see each other, even if a family member has only been gone for a day.  I love the dirt on the walls and floor.  I love the sarcasm and crazy conversations. I love the under cooked scrambled eggs that were made with love.  I love the hugs and kisses.  I love the outrageous grocery bills.  I love how my kiddos are more concerned with someone’s heart than anything else.  I love my “large” family and I wouldn’t have life any other way.   

I AM A YEAR OLDER!

Tuesday was my birthday.  I am now another year older and only two years shy of the big 4-0, and yes I do realize that I just admitted that I am now 38!  What was funny to me is that this year I really did sound like my Mom when I asked my amazing husband: “How old am I again?”  Yep, I seriously had to ask, guess the old age is really creeping up on me now huh?  HA!

I didn’t want a lot for my birthday this year.  Robert worked the weekend before but he still took me to Olive Garden on Saturday night.  I adore our date nights and I loved that we were able to celebrate my birthday a few days early.  We had a great time, totally overate, and relaxed as soon as we got home.  It was wonderful to have those few hours to ourselves, and if that would’ve been my gift it was the perfect birthday.  However, when I woke up Tuesday morning (my real birthday), I was in for a treat.

I knew what I wanted but it took Robert longer to decide..

It was worth the wait, the food was so yummy!

Maggie had set everything up for me.  I had a big present waiting along with my favorite hot tea.  Then she proceeded to make me some French toast, a breakfast that I adore.  She was so funny; it’s not a breakfast she usually cooks so she hovered over me to see if I was really enjoying it!  Of course I was it was delicious.  Then I left for my first prenatal checkup which turned into an all day affair and as a sweet lady pointed out, made for a memorable birthday.  Needless to say when I got home, I was exhausted, but I still had presents to open.

My view when I woke up Tuesday morning!

I LOVED my french toast!

Yes, I'm rocking my Minion pajamas while my two favorite Little's help me open my birthday presents!

I’ve wanted to get a good quality black and brown leather purse for a while.  BUT, I was being super picky about the style of the bag because I now need to carry John Robert’s Epi Pens with me.  When we were shopping in February I was looking at TJ Maxx and Ross for some nice quality bags and trying to explain to Maggie what I wanted and why.  She told me I was being too picky and to give up.  BUT, Maggie and Robert listened to me.  For my birthday I got a beautiful black Michael Kors purse and a lovely brown Coach bag.  I was thrilled; they met all my requirements and are perfect for what I wanted.   

While my day wasn’t what I had hoped it would be, my birthday was perfect.  At the end of the day I was surrounded by my husband and my children.  There is no one else I’d rather grow another year older with than them!

NEW BLESSINGS

Once again Robert and I are pleased to announce the new miracle coming to our family.  Our newest blessing is set to arrive this October.  Robert and I are beyond thrilled, our big kiddos are beyond thrilled, and the Little’s are a little unsure but excited because we are excited. 

We know that we are abundantly blessed to be given the chance to raise another little one.  We have also prayerfully decided that this will be our last Little One.  This makes this pregnancy and impending babyhood very bittersweet.  Every first smile, first tooth, first step, and first word will be our last first as parents.  I must admit that I have cried over this some, but in the end I know that this is what is right for our family.

So here’s to new babies.  Here’s to our amazing gift.  Here’s to God’s greatest blessing, the joy of children.  Mostly, here’s to recognizing the joy in this baby, the gift of our legacy, our greatest gift; our children.  

HOW DOES YOUR GARDEN GROW?

Recently Maggie has been learning about greenhouses, soil types, and horticulture in her AG class.  Bringing this knowledge home she asked if she could make a garden.  Of course being the responsible parents that we are, we told her to have at it.  I will readily admit that I have a black thumb.  I can’t grow anything.  I can remember when we were dating; Robert made an amazing garden, so I’m hoping she takes after her daddy when it comes to her gardening skills.  We shall soon see.

When Maggie was talking about what she wanted to grow, she never mentioned corn.  John Robert loves corn, and he wanted to grow corn.  So, when we got Maggie her seeds, I got John Robert some corn.  Of course this worked out well for Maggie; she got some strong arms to help her in her gardening ventures, and believe me when she chose the old hog pen, she needed some strong arms.

The kiddos chose the old hog pen for their garden.  We haven’t had any hogs in it since last August, so we figured the Florida sand that we live in here on the ridge had a lot of quality nutrients left in it.  This is where Maggie was more than happy to have John Robert along for the ride.  The weeds in the old pen were thick, almost waist high in some spots.  Without any instructions or input from us, the big kiddos got to work.  Well, I think Maggie and John Robert got to work, Ethan did what he does best: supervises!

The pen in the beginning.  See how high the weeds are!

John Robert weeding and working diligently!

The cows loved the weeds the kiddos threw over the fence!

After a full afternoon of work, the kiddos little garden was planted and ready to go.  Not only did they plot the area, they organized where each item was to be planted, and they weeded everything on their own.  There was no input from Robert or I in any of it.  Their garden was done in a day because of their own initiative and hard work, and to me, that’s what matters the most.

Taking a small break. 

Time to start planting!

Maggie planted bell peppers, green beans, onions, and lettuce.

At the top of Maggie's plot of veggies, John Robert planted his corn.

The end of a hard Saturday.  

 I am beyond thrilled about this garden.  Not because I want the veggies to grow, because I do.  Not because I want my kiddos to enjoy the fruits of their labor, because I do.  Not because I’ve always wanted a garden, because I have in spite of my personal black thumb.  No, I am beyond thrilled about this because my kiddos did this all of their own initiative.  This garden is 100% their pet project.  They took it upon themselves to plan, work together, and execute their plans.  If nothing in the garden grows, my kiddos are amazingly successful in my eyes because they worked together.

As my big kiddos get older I want them to have a lasting friendship.  I want them to enjoy spending time with each other, not because we are forcing them but because they legitimately enjoy each other.  This garden is a huge blessing to me because it is the columniation of my dream for my kiddos.  Not only are they siblings, they are becoming great friends!

So, Maggie and John Robert, how does your garden grow?  With lots of teamwork, hard work, a little bit of luck, and most of all a lot of love and friendship.

I’M ALMOST 40! Or things I wish I would’ve known about myself sooner!

I want to chat with y’all for a minute.  I am less than two weeks away from my birthday.  This birthday reminds me that I am inching closer and closer to the BIG 4-0!  Yep, you read that right, I am almost 40, and surprisingly I’m not that upset about it.  I think it’s because no matter how close I get to the big 4-0, I know that Robert is still that much closer.  Or maybe it’s because we have so many little ones running around that I honestly don’t feel that old.  Perhaps it’s because the older I get, the less the age matters.  Or maybe, just maybe it’s something else.

If I’m being honest, I think that it is something else.  I am finally happy with me.  I am happy being a little overweight; yep I am not high school thin anymore and I honestly don’t care.  I am happy with my stretch marks; they show the lives that I have chosen to nurture and the legacy that I am trying to leave.  I am happy being someone who went to college late in life but is choosing to not use her degree;  I know what matter the most right now is my children and not my career.  I am happy being a mom of a HUGE brood of children; I honestly love having a big family and caring for my five kiddos.   In all honesty, I wouldn’t mind having more!   I am happy with being married to the same man for almost 19 years; I am thrilled that he is still loves me, warts and all, and is still here after all these years.  I am happy to be learning and growing as I mature; I am forever changing, learning, and growing and that is a huge gift.  I am happy with me!   Honest to goodness happy with me.   I just wish it wouldn’t have taken me almost 40 years to get to this point.

If I could go back in time I think I would know what to say to a young me.  I’d tell me to love more and worry less.  The problems that seem so extreme are honestly forgotten within a year.  And let’s be honest, a year is nothing in the lives that we live.  I would tell myself its okay to do what I think is best.  I can be a strong and independent woman and still honor my husband, my family, and most importantly my God.  I would tell myself that I do matter.  What I think, how I feel, what I believe is important.  I don’t have to limit or sacrifice myself to please anyone else.  I can still be who I am and be happy even if everyone around me doesn’t like what I think or say.  I would tell myself that looks really do fade.  I never thought I’d ever get bigger than a size 12, and now I’m a 14!  I never thought I wouldn’t wear makeup everyday or not polish my toes as soon as they chip.  As I’ve gotten older I’ve learned that the outer beauty isn’t as important as being me, I just wish I would’ve found this out sooner.  Lastly, I think I would tell myself that no matter how I look, what I think, or how I feel; I AM ALWAYS ENOUGH!  I might be totally imperfect, make a ton of mistakes, but in the end that’s who I am!  I am a perfectly imperfect daughter of the King.  I was made in His image, for His purpose, and for His glory!  And I’ve learned that’s enough!

Yep, I’m almost 40!  Yep, it’s no big deal.  Yep, my life isn’t perfect, I’m not perfect, and I am totally fine with that.  After all, I like being me.  I am happy in my own skin and I know who I am in Christ.  Knowing this, being 40 isn’t that big of a deal, it’s just another birthday, and I’m all for celebrating a birthday!

Mingling of Souls Weekend

This past weekend Robert and I attended a marriage conference facilitated by Matt and Lauren Chandler.  Sadly, we missed the first two sessions on Friday night because of Robert having to work late and having puny kiddos, but we were able to escape for the last two sessions on Saturday.  We enjoyed the conference, we really did, but I enjoyed knowing that we’ve been doing some things right within our relationship because of who we are in Christ.

Robert and I married young.  I was 19 and he was 20.  We celebrated out 18^th wedding anniversary last December.  We made a lot of mistakes in our early years, but some things that stood out to me were the things that we were doing right.  In reality our premarital counseling wasn’t that great, you know: Robert tell Jennifer she’s pretty and Jennifer don’t forget to cook for Robert kind of advice.   We had to learn a lot of things on our own and as a result, we were able to walk away from the weekend with a new respect for each other and the work that we’ve put into our 18 years of marriage and 22 years of being Robert and Jennifer.

Our wedding, December 5, 1997.

  Some of the advice that we took away from the weekend is NOT to grow lazy in our relationship.  We date each other.  Not every week, although we do try to do that, but at least twice a month.  We flirt with each other.  Not in an overt way, but the subtle way of fun texts, grabbing each other’s hands,  grossing the kids out with some slight affection (in our own home of course), and laughing together as much as we can.  We try to break up the monotony of our lives.  We purpose to go away at least every other year for a weekend.  We need that escape; it gives us a chance to reconnect as Robert and Jennifer the couple.  We’ve changed over the years.  Robert isn’t the shy 20 year old groom and I’m not the naïve 19 year old bride.  We are maturing adults complete with all the responsibility that comes with adulthood.  We have the cars, the mortgage, the kids, the pets, and the bills that all come with being a married couple.  Taking that weekend off gives us time to reconnect not in our roles but as to who we are.  I love that we do this, and truthfully I wish we could do it more often!

Our weekend away in Gainesville almost six years ago to attend some friends wedding.

The last piece of advice that was really profound to me was that we need to guard against laziness in our relationship.  It is so easy to take each other for granted.  Every day we need to purpose to build each other up.  I am not the best at this as I should be.  Oftentimes I feel overwhelmed with my life and don’t always think to encourage and love Robert through his.  Yet, we are in this life together.  I couldn’t be the woman that God created me to be if I didn’t have Robert as a husband.  Not being a lazy wife is something that I really do need to work on, and I’m purposing to remind Robert of how amazing he is at least once a day!  The only way I can do this is to remember who I am in Christ and the grace that He has extended to me.  Through this grace I can overlook the faults and see the amazing man that he is and encourage him to be the man that God created him to be.   This is how we can guard against laziness, by purposefully looking for the good, being an active participant in each other’s lives, and still purposing to love each other; no matter what!

Just a Friday night date after the business of Christmas.

Robert and I really did enjoy the conference this past weekend.  It was a moment in time where we could focus on ourselves and how we can continue to grow in our marriage.  Loving each other is a choice.  It’s a choice that we’ve made every day for the last 18 or so years of our marriage.  It’s my prayer that we will have another 50 years of life together; the good, the bad, the messy, the fun, and most of all the love.

LIFE HAPPENS

Hi All!  Have you missed me?  Truthfully I haven’t been on in forever for a legitimate reason, I was hurt.  See I have had my feelings hurt, immensely by a family member, and I knew that if I were to put myself out there in cyber space I would have the potential to do or say something that I couldn’t take back.  So, I opted for silence.  Maybe it wasn’t the best choice, but for me it was the safest.   Some days I think that we need to remember that we need to do what is best for us, even if it’s inconvenient or wrong to others.   However, now I am here so let me catch y’all up on our lives.

Our lives happened.  We have endured and dealt with the good, the bad, and the ugly since we chatted last.  We’ve had four more birthdays, one more anniversary, two more deaths, and mourned the anniversary of the passing of our son.  I still can’t believe it’s been three years since Samuel was Heaven Born.  As a family we celebrated Maggie turning 15, John Robert turning 12 in November.  We had a great time at my parents’ house for Thanksgiving, sticking close to home because of Robert’s job.  In December we celebrated Cole turning 4.  As a couple we marked out 18^th wedding anniversary and celebrated 21 years of being Robert and Jennifer.   We remembered Granddaddy Massey on his 81^st birthday in December.   We celebrated Christmas, our first one without some key grandparents, and honored Grandpa Peacock’s life on New Year’s Eve with chicken and dumplings.    We took time off for Youth Fair and enjoyed watching Robert as a judge for the Whip Popping Contest.  We ended January on a high note as we celebrated Jacob turning two.  We had his celebration at Youth Fair since his birthday was the night of the whip popping.  It reminded me of my birthdays spent in Bartow. 

We also had to endure three weeks of ER/doctor visits.  We had to learn how to uses an Epi pen since John Robert ran a bad reaction to a bee sting.  We had to take Jacob to the ER for “nurse maid elbow” or a dislocated elbow.  We got to take Cole, Jacob, and Maggie to the doctor for sinus infections that wouldn’t heal no matter what we tried.  We have endured the changed with Robert’s work schedule, changes that have left us missing him as he works crazier and crazier hours.  We have faced all of this and made it through to stand here, in February.   At the end of January we met with a precious lady for our homeschool evaluations and determined that the kiddos are on track for what they have learned.   We still have the youth meeting every other week to have a safe place to ask those hard hitting questions that plaque us in our teenage angst filled years.  We are still here, still moving forward and pressing on.

So forgive me for my lack of correspondence.  I promise to communicate more.  I am still growing, changing from the person I was into the person that I want to be.  I can say that we are here, still the Best Family in Town, and we aren’t going anywhere!