HOW DOES YOUR GARDEN GROW?

Recently Maggie has been learning about greenhouses, soil types, and horticulture in her AG class.  Bringing this knowledge home she asked if she could make a garden.  Of course being the responsible parents that we are, we told her to have at it.  I will readily admit that I have a black thumb.  I can’t grow anything.  I can remember when we were dating; Robert made an amazing garden, so I’m hoping she takes after her daddy when it comes to her gardening skills.  We shall soon see.

When Maggie was talking about what she wanted to grow, she never mentioned corn.  John Robert loves corn, and he wanted to grow corn.  So, when we got Maggie her seeds, I got John Robert some corn.  Of course this worked out well for Maggie; she got some strong arms to help her in her gardening ventures, and believe me when she chose the old hog pen, she needed some strong arms.

The kiddos chose the old hog pen for their garden.  We haven’t had any hogs in it since last August, so we figured the Florida sand that we live in here on the ridge had a lot of quality nutrients left in it.  This is where Maggie was more than happy to have John Robert along for the ride.  The weeds in the old pen were thick, almost waist high in some spots.  Without any instructions or input from us, the big kiddos got to work.  Well, I think Maggie and John Robert got to work, Ethan did what he does best: supervises!

The pen in the beginning.  See how high the weeds are!

John Robert weeding and working diligently!

The cows loved the weeds the kiddos threw over the fence!

After a full afternoon of work, the kiddos little garden was planted and ready to go.  Not only did they plot the area, they organized where each item was to be planted, and they weeded everything on their own.  There was no input from Robert or I in any of it.  Their garden was done in a day because of their own initiative and hard work, and to me, that’s what matters the most.

Taking a small break. 

Time to start planting!

Maggie planted bell peppers, green beans, onions, and lettuce.

At the top of Maggie's plot of veggies, John Robert planted his corn.

The end of a hard Saturday.  

 I am beyond thrilled about this garden.  Not because I want the veggies to grow, because I do.  Not because I want my kiddos to enjoy the fruits of their labor, because I do.  Not because I’ve always wanted a garden, because I have in spite of my personal black thumb.  No, I am beyond thrilled about this because my kiddos did this all of their own initiative.  This garden is 100% their pet project.  They took it upon themselves to plan, work together, and execute their plans.  If nothing in the garden grows, my kiddos are amazingly successful in my eyes because they worked together.

As my big kiddos get older I want them to have a lasting friendship.  I want them to enjoy spending time with each other, not because we are forcing them but because they legitimately enjoy each other.  This garden is a huge blessing to me because it is the columniation of my dream for my kiddos.  Not only are they siblings, they are becoming great friends!

So, Maggie and John Robert, how does your garden grow?  With lots of teamwork, hard work, a little bit of luck, and most of all a lot of love and friendship.

I’M ALMOST 40! Or things I wish I would’ve known about myself sooner!

I want to chat with y’all for a minute.  I am less than two weeks away from my birthday.  This birthday reminds me that I am inching closer and closer to the BIG 4-0!  Yep, you read that right, I am almost 40, and surprisingly I’m not that upset about it.  I think it’s because no matter how close I get to the big 4-0, I know that Robert is still that much closer.  Or maybe it’s because we have so many little ones running around that I honestly don’t feel that old.  Perhaps it’s because the older I get, the less the age matters.  Or maybe, just maybe it’s something else.

If I’m being honest, I think that it is something else.  I am finally happy with me.  I am happy being a little overweight; yep I am not high school thin anymore and I honestly don’t care.  I am happy with my stretch marks; they show the lives that I have chosen to nurture and the legacy that I am trying to leave.  I am happy being someone who went to college late in life but is choosing to not use her degree;  I know what matter the most right now is my children and not my career.  I am happy being a mom of a HUGE brood of children; I honestly love having a big family and caring for my five kiddos.   In all honesty, I wouldn’t mind having more!   I am happy with being married to the same man for almost 19 years; I am thrilled that he is still loves me, warts and all, and is still here after all these years.  I am happy to be learning and growing as I mature; I am forever changing, learning, and growing and that is a huge gift.  I am happy with me!   Honest to goodness happy with me.   I just wish it wouldn’t have taken me almost 40 years to get to this point.

If I could go back in time I think I would know what to say to a young me.  I’d tell me to love more and worry less.  The problems that seem so extreme are honestly forgotten within a year.  And let’s be honest, a year is nothing in the lives that we live.  I would tell myself its okay to do what I think is best.  I can be a strong and independent woman and still honor my husband, my family, and most importantly my God.  I would tell myself that I do matter.  What I think, how I feel, what I believe is important.  I don’t have to limit or sacrifice myself to please anyone else.  I can still be who I am and be happy even if everyone around me doesn’t like what I think or say.  I would tell myself that looks really do fade.  I never thought I’d ever get bigger than a size 12, and now I’m a 14!  I never thought I wouldn’t wear makeup everyday or not polish my toes as soon as they chip.  As I’ve gotten older I’ve learned that the outer beauty isn’t as important as being me, I just wish I would’ve found this out sooner.  Lastly, I think I would tell myself that no matter how I look, what I think, or how I feel; I AM ALWAYS ENOUGH!  I might be totally imperfect, make a ton of mistakes, but in the end that’s who I am!  I am a perfectly imperfect daughter of the King.  I was made in His image, for His purpose, and for His glory!  And I’ve learned that’s enough!

Yep, I’m almost 40!  Yep, it’s no big deal.  Yep, my life isn’t perfect, I’m not perfect, and I am totally fine with that.  After all, I like being me.  I am happy in my own skin and I know who I am in Christ.  Knowing this, being 40 isn’t that big of a deal, it’s just another birthday, and I’m all for celebrating a birthday!

Mingling of Souls Weekend

This past weekend Robert and I attended a marriage conference facilitated by Matt and Lauren Chandler.  Sadly, we missed the first two sessions on Friday night because of Robert having to work late and having puny kiddos, but we were able to escape for the last two sessions on Saturday.  We enjoyed the conference, we really did, but I enjoyed knowing that we’ve been doing some things right within our relationship because of who we are in Christ.

Robert and I married young.  I was 19 and he was 20.  We celebrated out 18^th wedding anniversary last December.  We made a lot of mistakes in our early years, but some things that stood out to me were the things that we were doing right.  In reality our premarital counseling wasn’t that great, you know: Robert tell Jennifer she’s pretty and Jennifer don’t forget to cook for Robert kind of advice.   We had to learn a lot of things on our own and as a result, we were able to walk away from the weekend with a new respect for each other and the work that we’ve put into our 18 years of marriage and 22 years of being Robert and Jennifer.

Our wedding, December 5, 1997.

  Some of the advice that we took away from the weekend is NOT to grow lazy in our relationship.  We date each other.  Not every week, although we do try to do that, but at least twice a month.  We flirt with each other.  Not in an overt way, but the subtle way of fun texts, grabbing each other’s hands,  grossing the kids out with some slight affection (in our own home of course), and laughing together as much as we can.  We try to break up the monotony of our lives.  We purpose to go away at least every other year for a weekend.  We need that escape; it gives us a chance to reconnect as Robert and Jennifer the couple.  We’ve changed over the years.  Robert isn’t the shy 20 year old groom and I’m not the naïve 19 year old bride.  We are maturing adults complete with all the responsibility that comes with adulthood.  We have the cars, the mortgage, the kids, the pets, and the bills that all come with being a married couple.  Taking that weekend off gives us time to reconnect not in our roles but as to who we are.  I love that we do this, and truthfully I wish we could do it more often!

Our weekend away in Gainesville almost six years ago to attend some friends wedding.

The last piece of advice that was really profound to me was that we need to guard against laziness in our relationship.  It is so easy to take each other for granted.  Every day we need to purpose to build each other up.  I am not the best at this as I should be.  Oftentimes I feel overwhelmed with my life and don’t always think to encourage and love Robert through his.  Yet, we are in this life together.  I couldn’t be the woman that God created me to be if I didn’t have Robert as a husband.  Not being a lazy wife is something that I really do need to work on, and I’m purposing to remind Robert of how amazing he is at least once a day!  The only way I can do this is to remember who I am in Christ and the grace that He has extended to me.  Through this grace I can overlook the faults and see the amazing man that he is and encourage him to be the man that God created him to be.   This is how we can guard against laziness, by purposefully looking for the good, being an active participant in each other’s lives, and still purposing to love each other; no matter what!

Just a Friday night date after the business of Christmas.

Robert and I really did enjoy the conference this past weekend.  It was a moment in time where we could focus on ourselves and how we can continue to grow in our marriage.  Loving each other is a choice.  It’s a choice that we’ve made every day for the last 18 or so years of our marriage.  It’s my prayer that we will have another 50 years of life together; the good, the bad, the messy, the fun, and most of all the love.

LIFE HAPPENS

Hi All!  Have you missed me?  Truthfully I haven’t been on in forever for a legitimate reason, I was hurt.  See I have had my feelings hurt, immensely by a family member, and I knew that if I were to put myself out there in cyber space I would have the potential to do or say something that I couldn’t take back.  So, I opted for silence.  Maybe it wasn’t the best choice, but for me it was the safest.   Some days I think that we need to remember that we need to do what is best for us, even if it’s inconvenient or wrong to others.   However, now I am here so let me catch y’all up on our lives.

Our lives happened.  We have endured and dealt with the good, the bad, and the ugly since we chatted last.  We’ve had four more birthdays, one more anniversary, two more deaths, and mourned the anniversary of the passing of our son.  I still can’t believe it’s been three years since Samuel was Heaven Born.  As a family we celebrated Maggie turning 15, John Robert turning 12 in November.  We had a great time at my parents’ house for Thanksgiving, sticking close to home because of Robert’s job.  In December we celebrated Cole turning 4.  As a couple we marked out 18^th wedding anniversary and celebrated 21 years of being Robert and Jennifer.   We remembered Granddaddy Massey on his 81^st birthday in December.   We celebrated Christmas, our first one without some key grandparents, and honored Grandpa Peacock’s life on New Year’s Eve with chicken and dumplings.    We took time off for Youth Fair and enjoyed watching Robert as a judge for the Whip Popping Contest.  We ended January on a high note as we celebrated Jacob turning two.  We had his celebration at Youth Fair since his birthday was the night of the whip popping.  It reminded me of my birthdays spent in Bartow. 

We also had to endure three weeks of ER/doctor visits.  We had to learn how to uses an Epi pen since John Robert ran a bad reaction to a bee sting.  We had to take Jacob to the ER for “nurse maid elbow” or a dislocated elbow.  We got to take Cole, Jacob, and Maggie to the doctor for sinus infections that wouldn’t heal no matter what we tried.  We have endured the changed with Robert’s work schedule, changes that have left us missing him as he works crazier and crazier hours.  We have faced all of this and made it through to stand here, in February.   At the end of January we met with a precious lady for our homeschool evaluations and determined that the kiddos are on track for what they have learned.   We still have the youth meeting every other week to have a safe place to ask those hard hitting questions that plaque us in our teenage angst filled years.  We are still here, still moving forward and pressing on.

So forgive me for my lack of correspondence.  I promise to communicate more.  I am still growing, changing from the person I was into the person that I want to be.  I can say that we are here, still the Best Family in Town, and we aren’t going anywhere!

PERFECTLY IMPERFECT HOUSEKEEPING

Anyone who hangs out with me or our family for more than a day knows that our home life is insane.  It’s not anything in particular; it’s just the dynamic of our family.  We aren’t the typical 2.5 kids in a perfect suburban house.  We are the atypical five kiddo’s family with crazy hours and lots of stuff everywhere.  Most days I am totally fine with this craziness, but some days I struggle with my lack of housekeeping perfection.   As much as I adore the idea of being the next June Cleaver or Donna Reed, the reality of our family doesn’t mesh with those perfect stay at home mom stereotypes.   

In reality, I don’t aspire to be the perfect housewife.  Yes, I want my house to be somewhat neat and clutter free, but the reality of a family our size with the stuff we have more often than not lends itself to clutter.  I want to have the homeschooling room, the workroom for my scrapbook hobby, and the work room for Robert’s leather and whip building.  Instead of having this, I have homeschooling stuff in bookshelves around the dining table and the kitchen area.  This is meshed with the leather and whip building stuff that Robert and now Maggie and John Robert are using.  And my scrapbook stuff?  Well it’s regulated to the top shelf of my closet next to my jeans.  To say that I don’t have my dream house or organized storage system would be a cold hard fact for me, but I am doing what I can to make our lives better.

This year our family schooling structure has changed as we have added dual enrollment for Maggie into the schedule.  Add to it the change that I am also teaching a Wednesday night Awana’s class and I KNEW we HAD to get things together in our house, especially with our chore system.   The simple reality is that what I was doing just wasn’t working anymore.  Everyone was getting burned out on their chores.  More often than not, I was picking up more and more slack, and getting grumpier and grumpier in the process.  I knew something had to give, so I did what any imperfect modern American housewife, homeschooling Mama, and full time Mom would do; I hit Pinterest with a vengeance.

If I am being totally honest, I was slightly bummed at the overall state of chore recommendations and organizing that Pinterest had to offer for a family our size.  It seemed like everything was geared towards the stereotypical American family.  You know, white picket fence, the perfect two children and a dog, mom is at home happily imitating Martha Stewart, while dad works a 9-5 office job.  Yep, this was SO NOT our family scenario, and I was getting more and more discouraged.  Then I found it, chore baskets from Joyful Homemaking.  

The idea was a simple one.  Get some baskets, fill it with the necessary cleaning supplies, and then put instructions on the baskets for how each chore is to be done.  Simple, easy, and for us, pure genius!  More than that, I think that this is a chore system that will actually work. 

So, I headed into town, bought a weekly whiteboard calendar to organize our crazy weeks, labeled each chore basket, printed up the labels and actually used some scrapbook paper to make them look pretty, and then created the baskets.  My plan is to have each big kiddo use a chore basket for the full week.  So if your name is next to the “B” on our weekly calendar, then for the next week it is your job to clean the bathrooms.  All you need to do is grab your basket and do what the chore card says on it!  I LOVE this idea!

Our new weekly calendar.  Hung up in the kitchen high enough that little hands CAN'T color on it!  HA!!!!

A trip to Dollar Tree yielded almost everything that was needed to put together these baskets.  I even found the laminating cards!  YAY!

Each chore basket is set up and ready to go.

I LOVE that everything needed to tackle a cleaning job is now in one place!

Today we started our new chore system.  So far it has been simple and easy for the kiddos to understand and follow through on.  My hope is that this system will work in two ways.  The first is that the kiddos won’t get burned out on doing the same chore day after day.  The weekly rotations will help with this.  The second thing that I want them to learn is how to really clean and care for a home.  Even my boys will know how to sweep, mop, scrub a toilet, and even hand wash dishes with this new system.  To me, this ingenuous idea will help me as a mother prepare my kiddos for life outside of our home. 

No, I’m not a perfect housewife.  No, my house isn’t spotless and totally organized.  Yep, there are times that I don’t always like what Pinterest suggests.  However, with our new chore baskets, I think we are making progress in the right direction, and that’s good enough for me!

BACK TO SCHOOL COUNTDOWN!

The countdown has begun for us to begin our 2015-2016 homeschool year.  We are officially starting our new BFS Homeschool Academy school year on Monday, September 7^th.  Since we are in the home stretch I have spent part of the day lesson planning and gathering supplies.

  This year we are doing things differently.  Maggie is in high school and since Jacob is no longer an infant, we are looking at what we can do to help her reach her goals, specifically through dual enrollment, Florida Virtual School, and utilizing the local high school for AG and FFA.  Of course, John Robert is now in middle school so we are starting to tailor his education for his life goals as well.  Ethan is in his pivotal year, third grade, and working on developing strong reading and studying habits.  Cole and Jacob will be having fun playing and enjoying the ride.

  Since I know that everyone is on pins and needles waiting to see what we will be using for curriculum, I’ll give y’all the rundown. 

Sonlight is still our main curriculum choice for our history and our reading.  Maggie is using Core 100 for American History and John Robert and Ethan are in Core “E” for American History as well.  Robert asked that the kiddos look at some A Beka curriculum, since he used that at Landmark Christian School when he was in elementary school, so we are using that for our Language Arts, Spelling, and Vocabulary.  Maggie is also using A Beka Biology for her main science this year since it includes labs.  John Robert and Ethan are using Apologia’s Exploring Creation through Zoology Book II.  I think that we will be spending a lot of time at the local aquariums with this science.  Math is still Math U See, a favorite here; I really enjoy their video based teaching methods.  For “fun” Maggie will be at Lake Wales High School for AG (agriculture) and FFA along with some interactions at Warner University especially with their AG program addition.  John Robert will be exploring some leather working with CJ Brown at his saddle shop and still working on his artistic skills.  Ethan will be exploring engineering with his Lagos.  Cole and Jacob will be working on coloring and playing with their KUMON workbooks. 

All in all we are looking forward to the start of a great school year.  I can’t wait to see what God has in store for us!  Here’s to a wonderful, fun filled, adventurous year at the BFS Homeschool Academy!

REMEMBERING GRANDDADDY

The first breath that a new born makes is considered the most precious gift of all.  It is the signal of something amazing; a new life that is worth celebrating.  I was recently challenged to consider that the last breath someone takes is just as beautiful.  It is the signal of the end of a beautiful life.  This breath is no more important than the first breath of life, in many ways it is the most important breath a person can take; it shows that someone here on this vast planet lived.  As many know I am a firm believer that all life is sacred.  This means that all the breaths that a person takes are sacred, special, and worth celebrating.  The first breath of life is just as breathtakingly beautiful as the last breath of life. 

This past week we have had to watch as Robert’s Granddaddy, Robert “Bob” Massey, took his last breath here on earth.  Knowing that this was his last breath here, we mourn, but we also cling to the beauty that this breath symbolizes.  Granddaddy’s last breath shows us a life that was lived; his was a life that was lived in a full and exuberant manner, and it was a beautiful life.

Granny, Granddaddy, and Lauri (Robert's Mom) at our Wedding

I met Granddaddy 21 years ago.  He was a strapping man with a big smile and an even bigger heart.  I watched him as he interacted with his first grandson, the boy that he had helped to raise and mold  into the man that he is today; the boy that I chose to spend my life with, my husband; and if I am being honest, I have always been envious of their relationship.  Granddaddy had a genuine deep love for all people, but the bond that he shared with Robert was particularly special.  Robert was the first born boy, indeed his relationship started from birth when he was named for his Granddaddy, and over the years the relationship evolved and changed from that of a little adoring boy to two men   who held each other with a deep love and a lot of respect as they navigated life’s pathways more often than not, together.

Granddaddy and Robert often butchered.  Mostly it was hogs but in spring of 2012 it was a steer.

In early 2009 he was showing us he still had it in him to be a GREAT cowboy!

The first time I remember seeing Robert away from school he was with his Granny and Granddaddy.  They were in the old gray truck doing what they loved, checking on the cows.  During the early years of our relationship I would watch as Robert and Granddaddy would gather their tack, gear, and horses to go work cows for at least two weeks.  I remember helping to clean for the last big party that was held at Granddaddy’s barn.  I remember helping to clean the barn for gospel concerts with the quartet Crimson River.  I remember the first Christmas I spent with Robert’s family, watching as Granddaddy and Robert stirred the huge cast iron pot full of swamp cabbage.  I remember watching Robert and Granddaddy butcher, working in perfect harmony side by side.  No need for words, they had worked together enough.  I remember watching Granddaddy clean the barn to prepare for our wedding.  I remember watching as Granddaddy, Uncle CL, Uncle Joe Buck, and Uncle Bill gathered together to sing at our wedding.  I remember family reunions where he introduced me as his granddaughter.  I was never an in-law to him, I was family.

Christmas of 2010 with his four great grand-kids.

I remember his joy when we gave him his first great grandchild, his baby girl.  I remember his excitement over his first great grandson, and his pride that this boy would too continue the family tradition of having the name Robert.  I remember his love of his great grandchildren, the way he would pull up to our house and honk the horn (which drove me nuts in all honesty) to haul the kiddos off to see a new calf or ride to the mailbox.  I watched him with love that shone in his eyes as he taught his great grandchildren the things that he had taught their father.  I watched him as he lovingly hauled Robert and our children into the woods to go hunting or just ride naming all the slews and hammocks he knew, into restaurants, and always to the jiffy stores for ICEES. I watched him as all five of my children climbed into his lap and patted his shirt pocket wanting either the Tic Tacs or the chewing gum awaiting him there.  I also watched as he fed them the gum or the mints, even when I asked him not to, because he was their Granddaddy. 

Summer of 2012 when he bought the kiddos Candy.  

These are my favorite photos of Granddaddy.  This was the last time I saw him ride a horse.  His horse, Socks, is too old to ride.  To me these photos show us who Granddaddy is, a true Florida Cowman!

I watched him as his body started to betray him and he could no longer do what he loved, but he still sat right in the middle of Robert and my children while supervising them as they continued on with his tradition of riding, popping a cow whip, and even butchering.  I remember the pride that he had as he talked about John Robert garnering his courage to finally ride.  I remember his joy when Maggie asked for the brand that his mother had given him, the HEART H brand.  I remember how he would brag on Ethan for his love of Lego’s and anything science related.  I remember hearing him defend the size of our family to a naysayer, commenting on how each child was so amazingly special.  I remember his laughter and joy when the little ones, Cole and Jacob,always ran into his house to see him.  The littles were always running past Granny to jump into his waiting open arms, play with his hats, and stomp around in his boots.  I watched as it got to be harder and harder for him to pick the children up.  I watched as he would walk into my house and just sit to watch the children play or do their schooling.  I watched him as he watched them, always with love.

I have watched Granddaddy laugh at the mischievousness of children, the jokes of his cousins, and the joy of life.  I have watched him as he generously fed anyone who needed a meal, sometimes to Granny's chagrin.  I have watched him as he handed what he could to those in need, never expecting anything in return.  I have watched him as he worked physically harder than any man I have known, often outworking the younger men around him.  I have watched him as he loved on my children as he willingly sang to them and imparted the knowledge that he had about the life of a  true Florida Cowman.   I have watched him in good times, great times, bad times, and hard times.    

I also watched as his health started declining.  I watched him as he stubbornly fought his body and its ultimate betrayal with his health.  When the phone call came in that his health was beyond repair, I watched as he still purposed to show his family that he loved them.  I watched him as Robert and he struggled to find the balance of their relationship, one that wasn’t defined as a little boy who adored the giant of the man that Granddaddy was, but one of a love so deep and a respect so strong, that even  disagreements and hurts couldn’t stop the love that they shared for each other; his love for our family.  I have seen so much, watched it up close and from afar, and have been amazed.

For 21 years I watched the life of Bob Massey, our Granddaddy, as he lived a life of love and purpose in front of me.  On Sunday, August 9, 2015, Granddaddy took his last breath.  This Saturday we will be gathering to celebrate his life.  Our world is a better place because he lived.  My world is a better because he lived. 

Granddaddy’s last breath was so infinitely beautiful, because we know that he is now in the arms of our Savior.  Granddaddy took his last breath here on this earth but is now  enjoying the beauty of heaven and holding his grandson, our baby Samuel.  This temporary separation is not a good bye, but a “see you soon”.  Knowing this, there is joy in our sorrow.  There is a deep love within our lives all because a man named Bob Massey, our beloved Granddaddy.