THE BEST LAID PLANS: Part 1

I keep saying that parenting makes a person learn how to be flexible, for us these past few weeks there is a lot of truth in that.  I have always said that there is no point to making “birth plans” or outlining how I want any of my children’s birth’s to be.  However, I decided that I wanted this birth experience to be different since we had some very unpleasant hospital experiences with the birth of Cole and the birth of Samuel into Heaven.  We opted to try a homebirth, a birth that allowed us as parents the freedom to move and come and go as we sought fit. 

Deciding on a homebirth was not an easy decision.  We knew that there would be naysayers (we deal with that on almost every decision we make, why our birth style choices should be any different), we knew that there would be questions.  In spite of the criticisms and constant questions we researched, read, and watched documentaries and anything written on or by Ina Mae Gaskin.  I rented the “Business of Being Born” from the library and watched it alone and then with Robert.  We weighed all of our options and prayed about the decision we needed to make.  The more we researched the more we felt that we were making the right choice, a home birth was for us.

In June we met with a local midwife that came highly recommended.  I readily admit that I enjoyed the personalized care that her office offered us.  What struck me was that I as more than a number on a chart, I was a person with a name, a history, and story that was worth listening to.  I was more than just a number on a scale, I was a person that shared what they loved to eat, craved, or any vitamins that were taken, and I was worth more than five minutes of the midwife’s time.  I enjoyed my prenatal visits very much, even the dreaded sugar test.  I was on target for a home birth, and I was beyond excited.

Robert and I counted down the days until our newest gift from God, our son Jacob would arrive.  We figured he would be late, almost all the other kiddos were, and we knew to plan on that.  Week 40 came, and no Jacob.  Week 41 came, and no Jacob.  The midwife insisted that we needed to go to a local hospital for a routine non stress test.  This test turned out to be anything but routine for us!

The first hospital that we went to would not perform the test on us since I was a candidate for a home birth and would put their hospital at too much of a risk.  We arrived there on Tuesday, January 21^st at exactly 41 weeks.  Robert was beyond furious.  He had taken the day off of work to only be sent home and be told that we will have to continue to wait for a baby.  We agreed that if labor didn’t start by Friday we would try another hospital, one that we were told would keep up since the baby was “past his due date”, but it was our only option at this point.  We arrived at Lakeland Regional Medical Center on Friday about 11:00.  After some confusion about the paperwork and the dates that we were supposed to arrive, we were finally taken to Labor and Delivery for the tests that needed to happen.  We were promptly strapped to the monitor and then left to monitor the baby.  He looked perfect.  The doctor on call that day was pleased and ready to send us home, but at the last minute decided that an ultrasound should be performed.  This was when the fun began.

As the ultrasound tech explained the test we knew we would get to see what the baby might look like and how big he would be.  We didn’t know that he was going to give us the biggest surprise of our lives.  As she did the test, she calmly asked us how long little Jacob had been breech.  Robert and I both looked at each other in total shock and disbelief!  Breech?  Jacob was supposed to have been head down for weeks.  BUT no, he’s breech!  What would we do?

The answer was simple and yet heartbreakingly scary and overwhelming all at the same time.  We would arrive back at the hospital on Saturday morning for a C-Section.  My dreams of a non hospital birth that was not restricted or causing me any pain or undue stress was dashed.  Not only was I not going to be able to have my son the way that I wanted, BUT I was going to have to have major surgery and be totally put to sleep and not even meet my son for at least an hour after his birth.  I was crushed!  I cried the whole way home and half the night.  I was nervous, I was anxious, I was scared, I was hurt, and I was confused.  Why would God call me to walk through this?  The answer was more profound than I realized.  I needed healing.