PARENTS DAY OFF!

Robert and I ran away, but don't worry too much we are home again.  We left late Tuesday afternoon and headed north to High Springs to stay at the Grady House Bed and Breakfast.  This was a much needed adventure for us.  It gave us some time away where we didn't have to  follow a schedule, rush around organizing five kiddos and their various activities, and most of all not talk about anything but us.  We went to an antique mall.  We ate at our favorite restaurant and a new restaurant.  We visited a bakery and tried some cheesecakes. We ate way too much.  We ate at an older style diner.  Did I mention we ate too much?  We laughed.  We went to Hobby Lobby and Books-A-Million.  We rented a movie that wasn't kid friendly and one we had wanted to see.  We did a first for us, a couples massage, something I know we will be doing again. We stopped and snacked.  We explored more antique stores.  We headed into High Springs and did some shopping.  We got some snacks for our room.  Did I mention we ate too much? More than all of this, we just relaxed and spent time together, purposing to refresh and recharge.  It was a great parents day off.  Truthfully, I wish that we could have  stayed longer. even if it was just one day more.  Neither one of us were really ready to come home.  As much as we love the kiddos. we loved getting away too.  

The outside of the Grady House.  This was a bakery and was remodeled in 1916 to become a boarding house for the railroad workers.

Our room, we stayed in the "Green" room overlooking the gardens.

Our room had an attached parlor.  Robert loved sitting in there and reading.

Out exploring at the antique mall.

HAD to get a photo of this, it was full of 50's and Elvis memorabilia. 

Our mornings and evening started and ended by the fireplace in the parlor.  With a small fire going it was the perfect place to start and end our days.

Loved this cabinet of railroad artifacts found in the main parlor of the Grady House.

Robert loved looking at the books and old photo albums in the parlor.

And yes, I am really here and enjoying the time too!

We LOVED our time away.  It is wonderful to be home again, but we greatly enjoyed the time away, just us.  We reconnected.  We talked.  We laughed.  More than anything we remembered WHY we are still married after all of these years.  And  yes, we can't wait to get away just the two of us again.  

Sonlight Blog Party --- Choosing Curriculum

Welcome to my second installment of the Sonlight's 25th Anniversary celebration.  Today's fun topic is how to choose curriculum.  As always you can read how others have chosen their curriculum or even why they chose Sonlight on the Sonlight Blog.

Choosing what tools to help you educate your kiddos can be tricky.  How I got started was determining what my educational style was.  Once I knew HOW I wanted to teach, figuring out what to teach was fairly easy.  the funny thing was I always knew I wanted lots of books in our home, LOTS!  I wanted my kiddos to have my love for reading.  I also knew that I needed something to aid my visual learners with their math.  The funny thing is, as much as I curicculum shop, our history and math purchases always remain the same.  Sonlight is our history core and Math-U-See is our go to for math.  Science and some language arts do get tweaked as needed to meet. The needs of each individual child.

So how did I choose Sonlight?  I actually chose Sonlight about two years before we even started homeschooling.  I always suspected I would need to homeschool, especially my visiual artistic son, John Robert.  When he was four I found Sonlight and fell in love with the books. The Charlotte Mason educational philosophy was one that I wasn't familiar with, but my love of books was drawing me to that style naturally. I didn't want my kiddos bored to death with dry textbooks the way that I was in school. I wanted them to love reading and being read to.  For us, Sonlight's history and book selection has been the perfect fit.

Why did I share all of that?  I want to show that choosing what to use to educate your child is a very personal thing.  The process starts off with using what the parents like and is slowly adjusted, re-adjusted, and tweaked to meet the needs of each child as they advance in their educational career.  The curriculum choices can be overwhelming, so the parents need to start off with some things to help them in the process.  Have a goal, what do YOU want your child to learn?  Know your child's learning style and be ready to teach them in the way that helps them learn the most.  Finally, give them books, lots of books to encourage active thinking on their own.

 Using that three step process our family returns to Sonlight year after year, for four years now.  I've actually just ordered our books for next year. We love our Sonlight books because they meet the needs of our family.  Choosing curriculum can be tricky.  I'm so thankful for Sonlight and their products helping me to meet my goals for educating my family.  We've been on this journey for four years now, and thanks to Sonlight, the kiddos and I don't want to stop!

No Sir, THANK YOU!

Today I had to do our weekly Tuesday grocery store run.  Today Maggie and the two little boys were with me as we ran into town for our weekly shopping trip at Publix.  We arrived at the store with no fanfare, it was just like any other day.  After cruising the aisles of the store, it was time to check out.  The little boys were getting antsy, so I gave my car keys to Maggie and asked her to load the boys up while I finished paying for the groceries.   This is where my story ends and Maggie's story begins.

"Mama, you won't believe what happened to me" she met me with as I opened the truck to load groceries in the back.  As we loaded our spoils she told me what happened to her and how it touched her and made her day.

"I was sitting in the truck waiting on you when I saw an old man pull in front of the buggy (shopping cart) return.  He had on a Vietnam Veterans cap and could hardly walk.  I could tell he was trying to get a buggy, so I just jumped out and got him one. 

'Have a good day sir,' I said as I handed it to him.  Mama, he got tears in his eyes when he told me 'Thank you young lady.'   That's when I said, 'No sir, THANK YOU for your service for me and my country.'  He smiled and walked into Publix.  That has made my day."

No, my precious Maggie, you have made my day.  Not only did you see someone who needed help, you saw a hero, someone who served this country before either one of us were born.  You saw a man who had a need, but more than that a hero who had fought so hard for our country and now was fighting to do something simple, like get a buggy.  Lastly you reminded me that there are heroes and patriots all around us and they come in many forms in our lives.  

As I work with the kiddos in their civics lessons for school, as I talk and struggle to pass on my love of country to my children, I realize that maybe, just maybe they are learning this.  More than that, they are seeing more than people, they are seeing the heroes of this world and they are choosing to honor them.

So to the man that was at Publix today, to my Grandpa P. and Grandpa W., to Robert's Granddaddy M. and Papa B., to my brother and my brother-in-law, and to every other man and woman and their family who has fought for our freedom.  Thank You!  Today and everyday we thank you for what you do for us.

MY AMAZING HUSBAND!

About a month ago, I mentioned to Robert that I really needed some "us" time.  Life seems to be so busy, and as much as I enjoyed our anniversary date in December, I feel like we never really sit, chat, and reconnect.  Yes, we do talk to each other, but it is hard to sit down and really talk and connect when there are little hands knocking on the door and sending their cars and Lego's under the door to get our attention.  So, while we were discussing Valentine's Day and my upcoming birthday, I mentioned that I would love some time away!  I was pleasantly surprised when he agreed that was what we needed.

Normally I would take over and start to plan everything.  I am a detail orientated person, I like to know what's going on and plan for the "fun" of being spontaneous.  However, this time, I wanted Robert to do the planning.  I feel like I've planned so much, and I do want a break.  I mentioned St. Augustine as an option, but kept out of things.  Robert mentioned a few places he found and then tonight he surprised me.  Remembering how much we enjoyed Alachua when we stayed there for a friends wedding five years ago, he started the hunt.  I must admit I was beyond thrilled when he sat me down tonight for my gift.  He decided we needed to stay at the Grady House Bed and Breakfast in High Springs.  He planned everything right down to the B&B being next to a spa so I can get a massage.

I can't begin to tell you how thrilled I am.  More than being thrilled over the trip, I am thrilled with all the thought and attention to detail Robert has done to ensure that this trip is all I hope it to be.  His reason, I need to have more joy.  I will readily admit that I feel like I've been joyless since we lost Samuel.  He's noticed that and wants to help meet my needs.  

I can't wait for our time away.  More than the spa, the amazing looking B&B, the uninterrupted totally alone adult time, the ability to sleep in, and the chance to eat without cutting someone's meat or helping their plates I am looking forward to being pampered by Robert.  I am in awe of his thought and care for me!  After 21 years together, he is truly God's greatest gift.  

Thank you for this Robert.  Thank you for your care for me.  Thank you for choosing me everyday of your life.  Thank you for loving me and purposing to meet my needs.  Thank you for saving your whip sales to surprise me.  THANK YOU for being my husband.  More than loving you, I do adore you!

WHAT CAN I SAY OR DO?

Today I had a sweet girl that we used to go to church with and is now in college contact me and asked me this precious question.

"Mrs. Jennifer, my sweet friend and her husband lost their baby, she was six weeks pregnant.  What can I say or do to help her?"

My first reaction was to tell her that I didn't know.  How should I know what to do or say?  While I can be open about my grief and readily talk about the loss of my precious Samuel, I know that grief is a totally personal thing.  Not everyone wants to be open.  Not everyone will respond the way that I did when we found out our son had died.  So I sat there, with tears filling my eyes asking God, how can I help her?

The answer was simple; just love her.  

My sweet one, your friend is totally heart broken.  It's a pain that not even her husband will fully comprehend because, while he loves the baby, he didn't carry that sweet baby.  Her heart is so torn that it is literally hurting her to breathe right now.  That's okay, it's normal.  At times like this, words aren't necessary, just sitting next to her, holding her while she sobs, and even cleaning her house is all the love she can handle right now.  Bring her a meal or a gift card to her favorite restaurant.  These little actions are enough.  That's what you can do.

The idea of what to say is harder.  I wanted people to talk to me about Samuel.  He was my son.  He was (and is) loved and missed.  He was a vital and important person of our family.  But, I know that not everyone is as open as I am about the loss of their child.  Not everyone can share their thoughts openly and that's okay.  For me it is important to talk about him and his brief life, and my children and I do talk of Samuel and often.

I can tell you what NOT to say.  Never tell someone that there will be other babies.  That doesn't matter.  It is this baby that we wanted.  It is this child who's life was ripped from us too soon.  As much as I love my other children, as much as I love my precious Jacob, I still long and ache to hold Samuel.  He was a life, he mattered.  Don't ever tell someone that their baby is now an angel.  That is not comforting, at least not for me.  My Samuel wasn't created an angel, he was created a baby.  He had 10 fingers and 10 toes.  He had a beautiful face.  He was not an angel, he was my child, my beloved son.  To me saying that the baby is now an angel is dehumanizing and makes the pain even worse.  Do not ever tell a mother that there must have been something wrong with their baby.  It doesn't matter if the baby would've been born with a disability or not; they are still that couple's precious baby.  Lastly, never tell the grieving parent that they can't grieve anymore or that they should be "over" the loss of the child.  Don't tell any siblings this either.  There is no time line of grief.  There is no way that a week, a month, or even a year is enough time.  It's been two years for me, and I still cry.

So this brings me to my answer, what can you say?  Remember to say, "I love you".  Remember to say that the mother is enough.  Remember to say that she can cry, scream, yell, sob, hide, or even hit her pillow if she needs to.  Tell her she can talk about the baby or not talk about the baby.  Tell her she can have a memorial service or not have one.  Tell her that she can name the baby or not.  Tell her it's okay to feel crazy, emotional, hormonal, and even depressed.  Tell her it's all normal and that where she is right now is where you want to be too, right next to her supporting her.  

Most of all, tell her that God the Father Himself knows how she feels and that He really does love her, even if she feels that He doesn't.  He too lost his precious Son to the sin of this cursed world.  He too knows what it means to grieve and mourn.  He knows the hurt that stops us from breathing and knows how it feels to be uncertain of taking your next breath.  More than anything, He know it all and He is enough.   

The Thirty Day Church Challenge

Our church has just finished the middle leg of the Thirty Day Church Challenge.  Each week we focus on a character trait found in the early church found in Acts 2, and purpose to do study and what the earliest of Christ Followers knew; together we are stronger and better.  At the beginning of  the challenge we were give the tools to help us succeed, a devotional guide and a challenge coin.  

Our devotional book provided for us to help us focus everyday.

Week One we started off discussing the importance of Community.  We focused on how we are to connect with each other.  We as people are relational, we need the interaction of fellow believers to sharpen us, listen to us, bear our burdens, and help us to become better people.  Week Two we discussed how we are created to worship, but worship is so much more than just singing.  True worship is about our heart lining up with Christ's heart.  Week Three was about growing.  This past week we focused on what the mark of maturity really is.  This is a touchy subject for many, maturity looks so different to so many people; but the end result is the same.  We are all to be growing, moving forward and never stagnating.  

This week we embark on week Four, the idea of stewardship.   All this week in our devotional reading we will be focusing on what it means to be a steward and caring for everything that is in our grasp.  While this does include money it is all so much more.  It includes our time and our talents.  Next week, Week Five and the last week, we will see how everything focuses together into the heart of the Great Commission and the church, Outreach.

I must admit that I was slightly skeptical of doing this challenge.  The devotional snippets, at first glance, seemed short and trite.  My initial reaction was wrong.  I have been purposing to read my devotional daily.  Most days, being a busy Mama with little ones that demand my time, it is a daily struggle to eek out the quiet time, especially morning quiet time,  that I need to make my days bearable.  In spite of my personal struggle, I have found that this 30 Day Church Challenge has indeed challenged me in many areas.  

Am I perfect?  Far from it, but as I read the devotional and the accompanying Scripture, complete my journaling and gather my thoughts; I do find myself focusing more on how I need to be more Christ minded in my actions.  I am not where I need to be, I am still growing.  The beauty of this study is that our entire church has decided that we need to grow in like minded pursuit together.  I for one can't wait to see the beauty that will come as myself and my church family focuses on growing into the Acts 2 church.  God has great things in store for us, it will be amazing to see what they are.

MORNING QUIET TIME~ Why I Need It!

My mornings are far from perfect, and Mondays seem to be the worst!   These last few days my mornings have been consumed with a sick little baby and three year old.  These two puny Best's have made it impossible for their daddy and I to sleep at night.  Lack of sleep makes for a hard morning.  Hard mornings make for exhausting afternoons.  Exhausting afternoons make for trying evenings.  Trying evenings make bedtime seem blissful, but then the pattern repeats.  It's a parenting roller coaster that anyone with little kiddos is very well familiar with.  It is also the reason that I crave my morning quiet and devotional time.  I NEED that one on one time alone with God to function.  If it doesn't happen my day is even worse than I described.

This morning I fed, dressed, changed Jacob, changed him again, showered, dressed, ate myself, and got the bigger boys up and running for the day.  Then I announced that it was time for me to catch up on my devotional time.  I had missed two days last week since the little's were puny, and I knew I couldn't function without some quiet time with God this morning.  Assuring me that they had it all together, I ventured into my room and shut my door.  This is how my 30 minutes alone with God went!

ME:  Good Morning Lord....

<BANG BANG BANG ON BEDROOM DOOR ACCOMPANIED BY SCREAMS>

CHILD 1: Mom.....Ethan just hit me!
CHILD 2:  I didn't, he hit me first.
CHILD 3: JEBANDKANKDNGAN
ME: Boys, please let me pray....

<SILENCE>

ME: {SIGH}, Good Morning Lord.  Today I want to thank you for my husband and thank You for my children.

<BLOOD CURDLING SHRIEK FOLLOWED BY THUD>
CHILD 1:  Don't hit me...You're a butt-head!
Child 2: Me am not a butt-head.  You a butt-head!
ME: Boys, please don't call your brother a butt-head.
BOTH CHILDREN: But Maawwwmmmm.....

<BEDROOM DOOR FLYING OPEN AND THUDDING WITH A BANG!>

ME:  Boys, I NEED to talk to God.  Please be quiet and nice to each other.  Mama has to pray!

<BEDROOM DOOR SHUTS SOFTER THAN IT WAS OPENED.  I GATHER MY BIBLE AND PRAYER JOURNAL.>

CHILD 1: Geesh, Mama is a grump.
CHILD 2:  <TAPPING ON DOOR> I wuv you Mama.
CHILD 3: BEJABKLJBJFA
CHILD 4: Come on guys, let Mom pray, you know how she is in the morning. 
ME: {SIGH}, Good Morning Lord.  Today I want to thank you for my husband and thank You for my children.........

It has now been 10 minutes of referring children through various grumpy Monday morning issues.  I am happy to report that I did indeed get to eek out some time with God this morning.  I finally threw food at the boys, all of them finally settled down for food.  

All of this to say, Mama's of Little Ones, please know that God knows how hard it is to carve the time out to spend with Him.  He isn't asking for much, just some time to refresh your soul and help you focus on Him.  It's not easy, but it is always worth it.  

Yes, I got to pour my heart out to God.  Yes, He was waiting for me and even let me walk away to deal with the emergencies of the moment.  Yes, I came out from my room after I got to talk to Him smiling and ready to tackle the day.  No, my kiddos aren't over their grumpy attitudes but they are getting better.  No, my morning hasn't been perfect, I am having to snuggle and rock the baby as I share this.  Has my morning been filled with laughter, happiness, and lots of love?  Nope, not by a long shot.

In spite of my morning, I did get my quiet time.  It is something that I need, indeed my soul longs for it and I can really tell a difference in my heart and attitude if I miss my time with God so I knew that today of all days, I had to make sure it happened.  Am I perfectly consistent in my quiet time endeavors?  No, I'm not, but God understands that, after all, he's a parent too!