SOUND ADVICE

Lately I have noticed a trend, especially within the confines of my personal life.  People feel that they are free to do or say whatever they choose to me or my family about the choices that we make, the way we parent, or our family size.  Most of the time I purpose to shake these remarks off.  Sometimes I am successful at letting the remarks roll of my back, like water off a ducks back.  I know that the people are doing this because they care.  In reality this unwarranted advice is often hurtful, unfounded, and sometimes just plain rude.

I am not perfect, far from it.  I will readily admit to my lack of perfection on any given day at any given moment.  However, the way that I purposefully choose to live my life within the confines of my immediate family, specifically my husband and my children, is just that; my life.  The choices that are made that affect my family are not choices that we take lightly.  Most people do not understand the dynamic of our family.  They do not see how Robert and I discuss and research what we feel are the best choices for our lives.  They do not see the time that we spend in prayer, purposefully seeking God’s will for our lives.  They do not see the in depth family conversations we have, purposefully asking the children how they think or feel about a thought or idea we are have about something that will affect our family.  They do not see how the children willingly and actively seek Robert and me out before they do anything.   All that people see is the results of our choices, and we are judged harshly for them.

I do not need to be told how to parent, how my children should or should not respond to me is quite frankly none of your business.  If I am not concerned with their responses, if I am pleased with their heart attitudes, if I know that they are responding to me with a joke that is known to our family, then take your cues for me.  Your thoughts are irrelevant to the matter.  The choices that I make in our family’s grocery intake, entertainment choices, and even my medical care choices are, in all honesty, none of your concern.   If my family is thriving, if they are relatively happy and are productive members of society, then my husband and I, their parents, have done our jobs.  Who they associate with, talks to, and how they learn and grow are, with all due respect, none of your business.  If my family is happy, that is all that matters to me.  Your thoughts and valued 

ideals are not my priority. 

Raising my children according to what we believe is of import  and is what matters most.  We purposefully follow Proverbs 22:6, “Teach a youth about the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.” (HCSB).  For us this means following a Biblical life model as well as teaching behavior that encourages the growth of a child as an individual.  Trust me, as the mother of five kiddos, I can tell you that all my children are different and should be and will be treated as such.

I do not offer unsolicited advice.  It’s not my place to tell you how to manage your home or your life.  I will willingly come alongside you if you ask for my help, but I will not be intrusive.  It doesn’t matter that I’m your mother, sister, aunt, or friend.  My ideals are mine, they aren’t yours and the way that works for me might not work for you.  However, I am going to break my rule today and quote a rule I found in my new mommy handbook from my prenatal provider.  Ready?  Here it is:

                




'We don’t need your advice.  Seriously.  You might think

you have a better way of doing something.  That’s great, but now is not the time to offer it.  Go home, type up your advice in an email.  Proof read your email, twice, and then wait.  If it still seems important, send it to us in two weeks."

I think that this is sound advice.  I don’t have to justify any of my life choices to anyone.  I won’t be justifying any of my life choices to anyone.  I will defend my children and stand behind them all the time.  If I don’t ask for it, I don’t need your advice, input, or parenting “wisdom”.  I am pleased with my family.  Most importantly, my husband is pleased with my family.  Take my sound advice and stop offering yours. 

PUNY KIDDOS

I hate it when my kids are puny.  I hate it when they don’t feel good and they are so overwhelmed they cry.  That’s what’s been happening in our house.  It started yesterday with Ethan.  All of a sudden he broke down sobbing.  His chest hurt, he couldn’t read three hard words in his school work, and worst of all his head hurt and he was tired. 

Next one to go down was Jacob.  He fell asleep playing on the floor.  He NEVER lies down on the floor let alone lies still long enough to fall asleep, NEVER!  After sleeping for about three hours, he woke up with a mild fever.  Needless to say he spent the night in Mama and Daddy’s bed, much to Daddy’s discomfort, and woke up just to sit and cry.  He cried in his bath, he cried while laying back down in mama’s bed, he cried until we found Sheriff Callie on demand.  So far it’s been a day and night of kiddos not feeling good.

I HATE it when my kids don’t feel good.  To me it’s the worst thing a parent can go through.  I can’t take away the children’s pain.  I can’t take away their suffering.  I can only hug them, bleach bathrooms, and make virus killing soup (per Ethan and Daddy’s request), and as a mom it doesn’t feel like I’m doing enough. 

As a mom, I want to shelter my kiddos from everything.  I want to protect them from the evil and the sin in the world.  I want to ensure that they are protected from anything that can hurt them.  I know that this is unrealistic, our world is a screwed up, crazy, and dangerous place.  In spite of knowing this, my heart doesn’t change, and I want the best for my children.   I want to make sure that my children are always smiling.  I want to make sure that they are happy, running around enjoying their life.  I want them to be healthy.  Sadly, I can’t make these things happen every day.  I can’t protect them from everything.  There are times that I have to sit back and watch them fall, watch them cry, and watch them hurt.  In those moments my heart breaks and I stand on my knees crying out to God asking Him to heal and comfort them.  And I’m reminded of what Christ did for me, of His love for me and how he has the Holy Spirit cry out for me when I weep, hurt, and can’t take another breath on my own.

I hate it when my kiddos are puny.  But I take these days as a reminder of how precious our lives together really are.  I honestly can’t imagine my life without any of my children, and yet I know the time is coming when I have to return them to the Author of our lives who loves them more than I can imagine.  So I will snuggle them when they are sick.  I will play with them when they are healthy.  I will teach them as best as I can.  Most of all, I will purpose to show them the love of their Heavenly Father, and prayerfully direct them to Him. 

Yep, I hate puny kiddos, but I love how God uses sickness to remind us of what is important in life.  Even if the illness is just the 24 hour stomach bug kind. 

IT'S TIME FOR ANOTHER SONLIGHT BOX DAY!!!!!

Spring in here!  For us this means lots of sunshine, hot weather, playing outside in the sun, and of course our Sonlight Box Day!  Box Day is right up there with Christmas for this Mama!  I LOVE opening up those beautiful boxes (this year we had two to open, YAY!), and pursuing all the amazing books inside!  There is something so special so amazingly right about opening boxes of books, even if they are to be used for school. 

This year, Box Day was celebrated on my bed!  Why?  Mainly because we couldn’t keep Jacob OUT of the books, or the boxes!  So, Maggie and I locked ourselves into my bedroom and got to work sorting books into the piles so we could organize them all.  This year all the kiddos are studying American history so it was fun to see who was reading what!  Of course Daddy had to come in and see everything he could about the World War books.  He and Ethan have already swiped a book and have been reading about the Lusitania and Hitler!  I have to keep shooing them out of the way.

The bed is overrun with books.

I feel like Santa, looking at my list and checking it twice!!!!  

After we got the boxes empty, we let Cole and Jacob have them and they colored and played inside of them.  Just one more reason to love Box Day, it gets the whole family involved.  As the little’s were playing in the boxes, I set out to organize the IG’s.  So far I have Maggie’s two IG’s organized and I’ve sat down to show her how they work.  I still need to put together the boy’s IG and organize their books.  We decided to store Maggie’s books in her room this year since she is working totally independently from me.   Once I get the boys school shelves reorganized, I’ll share all about that too!

Jacob was finally where he wanted to be!

You can see all the scribbles and amazing art designs the boys did for me on the box!

Maggie's books are in her room where she has since organized them on her desk.

Since Mag's is using Core 100, she gets her own blue binder and IG's this year!

She's all set and ready to go!

The boys books and IG still need to be organized, but I can't get them to stay out of them!

Box Day was, as always, a ton of fun!  There is something magical about getting to open all those books, to touch them brand new and unloved.  It makes for a great memory.  Thank you Sonlight for the memories, they mean the world to us!!!

SAMUEL’S 3RD BIRTHDAY!

On this day, three years ago, our precious Samuel was due.  Unfortunately for us we lost Samuel in November and never got the chance to meet him.  I never got the chance to meet him and hold him.  I’ve never gotten the chance to kiss his cheeks or rock him to sleep.  I was never given the chance to be his mother.  I have mourned him and missed him more than I thought possible; I have cried over him and I have cried out to God to fill the void in my heart, but it is still there. 

Today, April 4^th was Samuel’s due date.  Now I know my pregnancies and my children and I know that he wouldn’t have been born on his due date.  I know that he would’ve been late.  I also think he would’ve grown up to look like his Daddy, just like his older brothers.  I imagine him with the blonde hair that would slowly be transitioning to brown, just like the other boys have done.  I imagine him being an adventures little boy with a love of trains, tractors, and horses, like his older brothers.  I imagine we would be having a birthday party filled with love and laughter as we celebrate a precious little boy turning three. 

I miss my son that I never had the chance to meet.  He holds a piece of my heart; he is forever in my heart.  I may not talk of him daily, but there isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t miss him or imagine the little boy he would be.  This month I should’ve been planning my son’s third birthday.  I’m not doing this.  I am, however, remembering his life and the impact that he had on me the short time I was allowed to carry him under my heart.  Now he is forever in my heart, my sweet baby boy.