On this day, three years ago, our precious Samuel
was due. Unfortunately for us we lost
Samuel in November and never got the chance to meet him. I never got the chance to meet him and hold
him. I’ve never gotten the chance to
kiss his cheeks or rock him to sleep. I
was never given the chance to be his mother.
I have mourned him and missed him more than I thought possible; I have
cried over him and I have cried out to God to fill the void in my heart, but it
is still there.
Today, April 4th was Samuel’s due
date. Now I know my pregnancies and my
children and I know that he wouldn’t have been born on his due date. I know that he would’ve been late. I also think he would’ve grown up to look
like his Daddy, just like his older brothers.
I imagine him with the blonde hair that would slowly be transitioning to
brown, just like the other boys have done.
I imagine him being an adventures little boy with a love of trains,
tractors, and horses, like his older brothers.
I imagine we would be having a birthday party filled with love and laughter
as we celebrate a precious little boy turning three.
I miss my son that I never had the chance to
meet. He holds a piece of my heart; he
is forever in my heart. I may not talk
of him daily, but there isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t miss him or
imagine the little boy he would be. This
month I should’ve been planning my son’s third birthday. I’m not doing this. I am, however, remembering his life and the
impact that he had on me the short time I was allowed to carry him under my
heart. Now he is forever in my heart, my
sweet baby boy.
No comments:
Post a Comment