FATHER'S DAY 2016

If there is one thing in this crazy and uncertain world that I am certain of, it’s Robert’s love for his children.  While he is far from perfect, as we all are, he is a man who knows what he values and what matters the most.  For Robert and I, what matters the most is our children.  Each one of our children is a precious reminder of the man that Robert is.  I truly believe that the reason we have so many sons is because of the legacy that Robert is leaving through his children, especially his sons.  Growing up, Robert never really had a great male role model.  He didn’t meet his biological father until he was 17.  In spite of his upbringing and its aftereffects; he is an amazing father today. 

For Father’s Day this year we decided to get a gift that the family could enjoy, well most of us can enjoy.  Several years ago, Robert had a very nice fishing rod and reel stolen from him. This year we bought three cane poles for the boys to use and replaced Robert’s rod and reel.  That was an adventure in and of its self.  I HATE fishing and anything to do with the sport, so in our shopping quest for the perfect gift for Robert, I made some great friends with two gentlemen as they laughed at me in the sporting goods department!  

Opening his card.  He laughed so hard at this card this year.  Maggie did a great job picking it out!

Opening his new reel.  

Putting together his new rod and reel.  

Needless to say, Robert was beyond thrilled with his gift, but most of all he was thrilled with the thoughtfulness of his kiddos.  Not only was this gift a personal one, but it was one that the kiddos and Robert can enjoy together as a family.  This is part of the legacy that Robert and I want to build in our children.  We want to instill in them the idea that gifts are meant to be shared and enjoyed as a family.  We want them to want to spend time and enjoy us while they are growing up so we will have the right bond with them when they leave our home.  I think that Robert’s Father’s Day gift shows this perfectly!

Robert and our five kiddos posing under our tree.  

Happy Father’s Day to my amazing husband!! We are beyond blessed to have you in our lives.  We adore you and can’t wait to use your new Father’s Day gift.  Yes, I will even go with you, as the official Best Family photographer of course! 

Mingling of Souls Weekend

This past weekend Robert and I attended a marriage conference facilitated by Matt and Lauren Chandler.  Sadly, we missed the first two sessions on Friday night because of Robert having to work late and having puny kiddos, but we were able to escape for the last two sessions on Saturday.  We enjoyed the conference, we really did, but I enjoyed knowing that we’ve been doing some things right within our relationship because of who we are in Christ.

Robert and I married young.  I was 19 and he was 20.  We celebrated out 18^th wedding anniversary last December.  We made a lot of mistakes in our early years, but some things that stood out to me were the things that we were doing right.  In reality our premarital counseling wasn’t that great, you know: Robert tell Jennifer she’s pretty and Jennifer don’t forget to cook for Robert kind of advice.   We had to learn a lot of things on our own and as a result, we were able to walk away from the weekend with a new respect for each other and the work that we’ve put into our 18 years of marriage and 22 years of being Robert and Jennifer.

Our wedding, December 5, 1997.

  Some of the advice that we took away from the weekend is NOT to grow lazy in our relationship.  We date each other.  Not every week, although we do try to do that, but at least twice a month.  We flirt with each other.  Not in an overt way, but the subtle way of fun texts, grabbing each other’s hands,  grossing the kids out with some slight affection (in our own home of course), and laughing together as much as we can.  We try to break up the monotony of our lives.  We purpose to go away at least every other year for a weekend.  We need that escape; it gives us a chance to reconnect as Robert and Jennifer the couple.  We’ve changed over the years.  Robert isn’t the shy 20 year old groom and I’m not the naïve 19 year old bride.  We are maturing adults complete with all the responsibility that comes with adulthood.  We have the cars, the mortgage, the kids, the pets, and the bills that all come with being a married couple.  Taking that weekend off gives us time to reconnect not in our roles but as to who we are.  I love that we do this, and truthfully I wish we could do it more often!

Our weekend away in Gainesville almost six years ago to attend some friends wedding.

The last piece of advice that was really profound to me was that we need to guard against laziness in our relationship.  It is so easy to take each other for granted.  Every day we need to purpose to build each other up.  I am not the best at this as I should be.  Oftentimes I feel overwhelmed with my life and don’t always think to encourage and love Robert through his.  Yet, we are in this life together.  I couldn’t be the woman that God created me to be if I didn’t have Robert as a husband.  Not being a lazy wife is something that I really do need to work on, and I’m purposing to remind Robert of how amazing he is at least once a day!  The only way I can do this is to remember who I am in Christ and the grace that He has extended to me.  Through this grace I can overlook the faults and see the amazing man that he is and encourage him to be the man that God created him to be.   This is how we can guard against laziness, by purposefully looking for the good, being an active participant in each other’s lives, and still purposing to love each other; no matter what!

Just a Friday night date after the business of Christmas.

Robert and I really did enjoy the conference this past weekend.  It was a moment in time where we could focus on ourselves and how we can continue to grow in our marriage.  Loving each other is a choice.  It’s a choice that we’ve made every day for the last 18 or so years of our marriage.  It’s my prayer that we will have another 50 years of life together; the good, the bad, the messy, the fun, and most of all the love.

SERVE ONE ANOTHER ~ A Beautiful Thing

Our pastor has started a new sermon series for our Sunday worship at First Baptist detailing what it takes to have a "Choice Marriage".   This past Sunday the message was based on Ephesians 5 and Mark 10, specifically Mark 10:45, and what it takes to serve one another in our homes and our marriages.  He challenged us to memorize Mark 10:45 and make it a central verse for our marriages.  He also challenged us to look for five to seven ways to serve your spouse through out the week.  I must admit, I have enjoyed this challenge immensely.

Firstly, let me confess that I have never thought of using Bible verses to play a central role in my marriage.  I pray for my husband daily.  I have prayed Scriptures over my husband, my favorite verses are found in Psalms for this.  BUT, I have never thought of finding verses and saying THIS applies to my marriage.  After Sunday morning, now I am thinking of what verses are good for our marriage.  I love the idea of serving one another in our marriage because Christ came to serve us.  I love that marriages are made up of daily choices to actively love and serve one another.  More than that I am amazed to see that God has His design for marriage and active all encompassing love shown through these acts of service.  Mark 10:45 is the perfect example of this.  I am grateful for the challenge that Pastor Scott issued and that this is the verse that we are now using to remind ourselves of what marriage service and love really is.

Now onto confession number two.  Robert and I have already been looking for little things to do for each other to serve one another daily.  Why?  It's the little things that make a marriage.  I can give you two examples of what I do for Robert.  I make his coffee nightly so he can have a fresh, hot cup of coffee waiting on him when he wakes up.  

Why is this a big deal?  I HATE the smell of coffee. Literally, I despise coffee.  I don't like the smell of the grounds, the smell of it brewing, and don't get me started on the taste.  BUT, my husband LOVES having a big pot of coffee waiting on him when he gets up at 5:30 for his day of work.  So every night when I clean the kitchen, I put coffee on and set the timer for at least 15 minutes before he is to wake up.  He gets up to the smell of coffee and he knows that I was thinking of him the night before.  

Another little thing that I do is I try to learn to cook things that he likes.  Most people think that I am a decent cook, and I have learned a lot over the years, but I am NOT the cook that Robert is.  Robert is the one that can cook everything from scratch.  I am still learning.  Robert is the one who grew up in the kitchen, me, well let's just say my Mom's favorite meal is still take out menu's!    In spite of my lack of culinary skills, I do try to make things that I know are pleasing to my husband.  More than that, I purpose to plan our meals so that when he comes in from work, supper is being served.  I also like to make things that I know he enjoys.  Like this morning, I made his "kool-aid".

In my attempt to maintain a healthier lifestyle, I knew that traditional Kool-Aid had to go.  BUT, this was something that Robert grew up enjoying, so I researched and found a healthy alternative.  Robert LOVES to drink this healthy "kool-aid".  The recipe is super simple (I'll share it below), the house smells incredible as the Tazo tea steeps, but more than that, Robert knows how much I love him because I choose to make this for him and the children.  Literally this morning he was super excited that I was making him his "kool-aid".

Now, I know that I have gone on and on about all the things that I do for Robert.  But, I want you to know that he serves me in a lot of little ways too.  He will run by the bread store for me so I don't have to make a special trip.  He will let me sleep in knowing that I am not a morning person by nature.  He knows, even in his sleep, that I need him to hold me at night when I tap his shoulder.  He gladly cooks on the days that life is too chaotic and stressful for me to have his meal ready on time.  He willingly comes in from working, often a 10-14 hour day, and sweeps the floors for me because he knows I can't stand the sand and crumbs.  He compliments me on cleaning the house even though it looks like a bomb has exploded.  When I ask him how he can even tell I cleaned his answer is usually:  "Because the toys and books are in a different spot."

All of these things, and maybe more than 100 more happen on a daily basis.  Not because we are prefect, as our "discussion" last night can show.  Rather these things happen because we are purposing to have a marriage where we put each other first, where we seek to show each other the love of Christ daily, and we purpose to show our children what love is.  Love is dying to one's self daily.  Love is an active choice.  Love is working hard, even when you don't feel like it, simply because you WANT to serve one another.

Thank you Pastor Scott for this timely reminder this past Sunday.  Thank you for the challenge of a collection of verses for our marriage.  More than this, thank you to my husband of 17, almost 18, years for his continual acts of service, unfailing devotion, and unending love to me.  It is a joy for me to find ways to serve him, simply because it's what makes our love story unique and beautiful.  We  choose to love each and choose to stay in love with each other by serving one another.  These constant acts of service is what makes our messy, chaotic, stressful, amazing, beautiful, and Christ centered marriage a truly beautiful thing.

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NATURAL KOOL-AID

1 Tazo Iced Passion Tea Bag

1/2 Cup Organic Sugar

2 TBSP  Organic Apple Cider Vinegar (with the Mother.  I like Bragg's Brand the best)

In a small sauce pan bring water to a boil, turn the burner off, and add the tea bag allowing  it to steep for at least 5 minutes.  Enjoy the smells coming from the kitchen, believe me, it is heavenly!  In a 2 quart pitcher pour the sugar, hot tea, and vinegar.  Add water to fill the pitcher to the top, stir well, and enjoy over a tall glass of ice.  You can thank me now for this amazingly refreshing summer drink recipe! HA!

THURSDAY NIGHTS ARE NOW DATE NIGHTS

Robert and I are working on a new tradition.  Thursday nights are date nights.  This tradition started last Thursday and we managed to make it happen again last night.  This little tradition all started thanks to a sweet friend of mine, sort of.

You see, this very sweet friend gave me a book by Angela Thomas, 52 Things Kids Need From a Mom.  One of the first chapters was on the importance of date nights.  If a Mom is single or married, Angela encourages that weekly she take the time to charge and refresh.  This spoke directly to my soul.  So often the only adult conversation that I get is the passing "Hey, How Are You" kind during the busy work week with Robert and the hour long interaction in my amazing Sunday School class.  I've been craving more than this.  I've been craving time with Robert where we can chat about anything and everything!  Thankfully when I mentioned this to him, he had listened to a broadcast by James Dobson and Focus on the Family that was similar to what I was saying and he agreed.  

We talked about what night would be best for us and agreed that Thursday would work the best.  We chose this night since Maggie is starting to have invitations to head out on Friday's and Saturday's some weeks.  We want her to have a social life too, but part of her phone payment for the month is babysitting for us.  That's how our Thursday night date night began.  It was a compromise and a win for everyone involved.

Last week our date was a shopping trip to Home Depot and some blizzards from Dairy Queen.   Last night Robert offered to plan our date and it was a trip to Chili's complete with desserts for us both and a stop at Publix for milk and cereal for the kiddos.  Next week Robert is on call so our date night might just be a trip to McDonald's for ice cream. I am already running out of ideas, but that's what Pinterest is for!  HA! Whatever our date is, I am beyond thrilled that he heard me when I told him that I needed this and agreed that as a couple we need to start connecting more.

While we realize that we still have young children at home, we also realize that we have children who will be leaving our home soon.  I don't want to be a couple who splits later in life because the whole focus the marriage has been children.  I also don't want to make my children the whole focus of my life.  Date night has been the answer that I was looking for and to a question I didn't even realize I had: how can I connect with Robert, and the answer is working. 

 Once a week for two hours a night it's about us.  We talk about anything and everything, from bills to dreams.  We focus on each other and what we would LIKE to see happen in our lives.  We reconnect and purpose to love each other more.  After two weeks, I already crave this time with Robert.  The kiddos need to see that we are more than parents, that we are friends, lovers, life partners that genuinely want to be together.  This new tradition is doing that and so much more.

I am loving our new date night tradition.  I am loving that Robert and I are talking about things we never thought of before.  I am loving that we are showing our kids that we do choose to stay together, that we really do like each other.  I am also amazed at how much it is improving my attitude and heart during the week as I look forward to Thursday nights.  

Do you have a date night?  If so, what are some of the things that you love to do?  I'd love to hear from you!

MY AMAZING HUSBAND!

About a month ago, I mentioned to Robert that I really needed some "us" time.  Life seems to be so busy, and as much as I enjoyed our anniversary date in December, I feel like we never really sit, chat, and reconnect.  Yes, we do talk to each other, but it is hard to sit down and really talk and connect when there are little hands knocking on the door and sending their cars and Lego's under the door to get our attention.  So, while we were discussing Valentine's Day and my upcoming birthday, I mentioned that I would love some time away!  I was pleasantly surprised when he agreed that was what we needed.

Normally I would take over and start to plan everything.  I am a detail orientated person, I like to know what's going on and plan for the "fun" of being spontaneous.  However, this time, I wanted Robert to do the planning.  I feel like I've planned so much, and I do want a break.  I mentioned St. Augustine as an option, but kept out of things.  Robert mentioned a few places he found and then tonight he surprised me.  Remembering how much we enjoyed Alachua when we stayed there for a friends wedding five years ago, he started the hunt.  I must admit I was beyond thrilled when he sat me down tonight for my gift.  He decided we needed to stay at the Grady House Bed and Breakfast in High Springs.  He planned everything right down to the B&B being next to a spa so I can get a massage.

I can't begin to tell you how thrilled I am.  More than being thrilled over the trip, I am thrilled with all the thought and attention to detail Robert has done to ensure that this trip is all I hope it to be.  His reason, I need to have more joy.  I will readily admit that I feel like I've been joyless since we lost Samuel.  He's noticed that and wants to help meet my needs.  

I can't wait for our time away.  More than the spa, the amazing looking B&B, the uninterrupted totally alone adult time, the ability to sleep in, and the chance to eat without cutting someone's meat or helping their plates I am looking forward to being pampered by Robert.  I am in awe of his thought and care for me!  After 21 years together, he is truly God's greatest gift.  

Thank you for this Robert.  Thank you for your care for me.  Thank you for choosing me everyday of your life.  Thank you for loving me and purposing to meet my needs.  Thank you for saving your whip sales to surprise me.  THANK YOU for being my husband.  More than loving you, I do adore you!

WHIP POPPING FUN ~ Celebrating 20 Years!

The Polk County Youth Fair celebrated 20 years of showcasing the Florida Cracker or Cowman with their 20^th anniversary of the Whip Popping Contest.  This year Robert was asked to return as a special guest demonstrator to show what it took to win 20 years ago.   It was wonderful to see him back in the same arena doing what he did 20 years ago and watching him wow the crowd in his own way.

The contest has certainly changed some.  The kids popping the whips are more “showy”; one boy even did a flip.  I was impressed by all the contestants and proud to see that the kids that won had whips made by my husband through his Moccasin Whips and Artwork page.  As exciting as the showmanship and “flashy” whip popping was, in a way it saddened me some too.  Something is lost when it’s all about flash and not about technique and the REAL reason cowboys in Florida were called Florida Crackers. 

What was amazing to some of the kids was that Robert stood with his hand in his pocket, and made the whip sound just as loud as a gunshot, maybe even louder than their pops all the while standing still.  He popped the whip just as he would if he was sitting on our mare.  Robert popped the whip the way he did 20 years ago, and once again won the crowd.  He wasn’t flashy, overly showy, or entertaining.  He was simply a Florida Cowman doing what he does best, showing his craft as a Florida Cracker.   

Working his magic with the whip.

LOVE his hand in his pocket!

Getting a big thanks from Cari Lightsey.

As always, I sat and watched my husband in awe. To me he is simply amazing in his simplicity and the masterful way he has hones his craft, a true Florida Cowman. 

Congratulations to all the winners at the fair.  Congratulations on 20 years of showing off a dying Florida art, the art of the Florida Cracker.  More than that, congratulations to my amazing husband for showing the world that it’s really the simple way of the cowboy that  makes someone a winner!

TWENTY YEARS

Twenty years ago, I was a young girl who was a Junior in high school and thought that I was in love with the most amazing boy in the world.  Twenty years ago I stood in the arena of the Polk County Youth Fair in Bartow, FL and watched that amazing young man show what he knew about being a 6th generation Florida Cracker, a real Florida Cowboy.  He stood humbly in front of a panel of old cattlemen judges, Cari Lightsey, Glen Stokes, Mac Padgett, and Tim Barber, two who have since passed away, and did what he did best; pop a cow whip.  Twenty years ago he won that contest.  Twenty years ago I was so proud, he was my sweetheart.

 Today we got a phone call from one of the original judges, Cari called and said that they want Robert to return to Youth Fair and the Whip Popping Contest.  They want him to do another demonstration, this time on his horse to show how a true Florida Cracker uses a whip to work cows and deal with life on  a ranch.  They also want to honor Robert, the first ever winner of the Polk County Youth Fair that took place all of twenty years ago.


 Today I am a mature woman who married that amazing boy and have raised a family.   I have watched that young boy learn at the feet of Tim Barber how to make buckskin and build a cow whip in the true Florida Cracker style.  I have watched him teach this to his own children, passing down the legacy of the Florida Cowman to the next generation, not only how to pop a cow whip but how to make true buckskin and how to braid cow whips.  All of this has happened in a span of twenty years.  In spite of the time lapse, I still see myself as that young girl who stood in the arena of the Polk County Youth Fair and watched that amazing young man pop his cow whip for all the see.  I am also more in love with him than I imagined, all because of who he was and what he has become.  

Making buckskin to make a cow whip.

Getting all five of his kiddos in on the action.

The finished whip.

Some nylon whips that he has braided.

Teaching one of his boys how to pop a whip.

This was Ethan at 2 years old.

Twenty years ago, Robert won a contest for being who he is, a Florida Cowboy.  Twenty years later on Monday, January 26, 2015; he will be honored for being who he is, an amazing Florida Cowman who has now become a whip builder himself.  Once again I will be in the arena stands cheering him on, this time with help from our children, family, and friends.  I am honored to be Robert's wife and can't wait to see what will happen to us in another twenty years.

CHRISTMAS OF 2014

I love Christmas, it is my favorite time of year for so many reasons.  This year, our holiday time has been challenging, and if I am being truthful, in many ways just not fun or what we expected it to be.  In spite of our personal heartache over some things, we had a great Christmas together as a family of seven.

We normally do all of our Christmas baking on the Friday before Christmas.  Sadly this year I got the stomach flu.  I was in bed all day, literally thinking I was dying, and I was so upset and bummed out about not being able to do the baking with the kiddos.  I shouldn’t have worried though, Maggie, being the amazing big sister and young woman that she is, got the supplies together and did the baking with the boys.  She even took a lot of photos for me.  Knowing this was Jacob’s first Christmas, she didn’t want me to lose out on any memories.

The Saturday or Sunday before Christmas the Best side of the family has a get together.  This year, like last year, Robert was on call and actually wound up working so we couldn’t attend.  But, after me having the stomach flu, I didn’t think they would mind us not sharing our germs.  Christmas Eve is the day that we usually celebrate with his side of the family and all of the Massey’s.  Sadly we weren’t able to join them for this due to some circumstances that were beyond our control.  But, Poppa Best came to our rescue and joined us for some relaxing fun time on Christmas Eve.  Poor Maggie wasn’t feeling well and went to bed with a migraine, so our annual pajama and reading tradition was cut short.  I don’t think any of the kiddos even slept in their Christmas jammies this year.  I know that it’s a silly thing, but it is something that bothers me a lot.

Christmas Eve fun with Poppa Best

Making silly faces waiting on Maggie to get her meds.

Finally time to open Christmas Eve presents, new pajamas.

At LAST it was Christmas morning.  We told the kiddos not to get us up before 6:00 so Jacob wouldn’t be too grumpy.  I was up at 5:30, so excited I couldn’t stand it.  I had to WAKE my kiddos up at 6:30 for our family time.  It was the perfect morning.  We opened gifts, including our big family gift of new camping gear, we ate a big family breakfast, and then spent time playing with our new goodies.  For me, this was the time it finally felt like Christmas.  No one was sick, no one was hurt and disappointed, and no one was sad; we laughed, relaxed, and enjoyed each other.  At 1:00 we headed to my folks home to visit with my Grandma and parents and celebrate Christmas with them.

Christmas morning FUN!

Time for Christmas with Nana and Papa and  Great Grandma Peacock!

While this Christmas season didn’t go as we had hoped, and we were disappointed and saddened by a lot of things, one aspect was even more precious to me; my family.  My children were amazing as they loved and served each other to prepare the cradle for the birth of baby Jesus.  My husband was awesome as he got more and more excited over being able to make memories with his children.  My heart is full because within the confines of our small home, we saw God in action in full pursuit of our hearts with His love.  All because of the holiday we call Christmas. 

Chrismtas of 2014 was not the perfect Christmas, but it was one that was ful of joy, laughter, and love.  That is what makes this our BEST Chrismtas ever.