I want to chat with y’all for a
minute. I am less than two weeks away
from my birthday. This birthday reminds
me that I am inching closer and closer to the BIG 4-0! Yep, you read that right, I am almost 40, and
surprisingly I’m not that upset about it.
I think it’s because no matter how close I get to the big 4-0, I know
that Robert is still that much closer.
Or maybe it’s because we have so many little ones running around that I
honestly don’t feel that old. Perhaps it’s
because the older I get, the less the age matters. Or maybe, just maybe it’s something else.
If I’m being honest, I think that
it is something else. I am finally happy
with me. I am happy being a little overweight;
yep I am not high school thin anymore and I honestly don’t care. I am happy with my stretch marks; they show
the lives that I have chosen to nurture and the legacy that I am trying to
leave. I am happy being someone who went
to college late in life but is choosing to not use her degree; I know what matter the most right now is my
children and not my career. I am happy
being a mom of a HUGE brood of children; I honestly love having a big family
and caring for my five kiddos. In all
honesty, I wouldn’t mind having more! I am happy with being married to the same man
for almost 19 years; I am thrilled that he is still loves me, warts and all, and
is still here after all these years. I
am happy to be learning and growing as I mature; I am forever changing,
learning, and growing and that is a huge gift.
I am happy with me! Honest to
goodness happy with me. I just wish it wouldn’t have taken me almost
40 years to get to this point.
If I could go back in time I think
I would know what to say to a young me.
I’d tell me to love more and worry less.
The problems that seem so extreme are honestly forgotten within a
year. And let’s be honest, a year is
nothing in the lives that we live. I
would tell myself its okay to do what I think is best. I can be a strong and independent woman and
still honor my husband, my family, and most importantly my God. I would tell myself that I do matter. What I think, how I feel, what I believe is
important. I don’t have to limit or
sacrifice myself to please anyone else. I
can still be who I am and be happy even if everyone around me doesn’t like what
I think or say. I would tell myself that
looks really do fade. I never thought I’d
ever get bigger than a size 12, and now I’m a 14! I never thought I wouldn’t wear makeup
everyday or not polish my toes as soon as they chip. As I’ve gotten older I’ve learned that the
outer beauty isn’t as important as being me, I just wish I would’ve found this
out sooner. Lastly, I think I would tell
myself that no matter how I look, what I think, or how I feel; I AM ALWAYS
ENOUGH! I might be totally imperfect,
make a ton of mistakes, but in the end that’s who I am! I am a perfectly imperfect daughter of the
King. I was made in His image, for His
purpose, and for His glory! And I’ve
learned that’s enough!
Yep, I’m almost 40! Yep, it’s no big deal. Yep, my life isn’t perfect, I’m not perfect,
and I am totally fine with that. After
all, I like being me. I am happy in my
own skin and I know who I am in Christ.
Knowing this, being 40 isn’t that big of a deal, it’s just another
birthday, and I’m all for celebrating a birthday!
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