SAYING GOODBYE

Having to say goodbye to a loved one is a horrible charge that we are all faced with at one time or another in our lives.  Rich or poor, young or old, death is the equalizer of us all.  It is the five letter word that sits like an elephant in the room, the one thing that we all have in common and the one thing that none of us want to deal with.  Indeed the Bible tells us that we are not promised tomorrow, or to even purpose to plan for tomorrow.  Instead we are to focus on today and be a blessing to those among us today, in this moment.

Since March of this year, our family has been hit with the loss of five loved ones or family members.  Three of our losses have been children, one under the age of 15 and two were precious babies, one was a young woman around 55 or so, and this last death is that of my Aunt Carole.  Five deaths in four months, it seems overwhelming.  In reality it is overwhelming.

Our latest loss happened last night with the passing of Aunt Carole.  Aunt Carole was really my great aunt.  She was my Grandma Peacock’s sister in law, she was married to Grandma’s brother our Uncle Bob.  I loved Uncle Bob and Aunt Carole immensely.  Where Uncle Bob was out going and gregarious, Aunt Carole was quiet and genteel.  They were a perfect match for each other; they balanced each other in a very complimentary manner.  

Growing up we spent every Christmas Eve at Aunt Carole and Uncle Bob’s house.  Uncle Bob always hid candy canes in the tree and made his infamous shrimp salad.  Aunt Carole always the lady complimented us on our Christmas outfits and took the time to sit and talk to each one of us. 

 We lost Uncle Bob a little over six years ago, and his loss was hard on Aunt Carole and Grandma.  We lost Grandpa three years ago, and again the loss was hard on them both.  Now Aunt Carole is gone, and the loss is hard on Grandma, but it’s especially hard because she doesn’t have her friend in Carole to call or lean on.  Aunt Carole was more than her sister in law, she was her friend.  Aunt Carole called or emailed us on all our birthdays.  She really reached out to Grandma after Grandpa died.   Christmas Eve was no longer at her house, but she always came for a visit at Thanksgiving and Christmas.  She was always the lady, always loving, always kind, and always a friend.

It’s been said to me that the older you get the more you feel and recognize the loss of life.  Perhaps it’s because as we get older we become more focused on our own mortality.   Or maybe, like me, we are all stopping to reflect on what our loved ones mean to us.  Maybe, just maybe we are starting to realize the value of family and the need to stay connected no matter what.  No matter what the reasoning is, we do seem to see life and death more clearly as we get older. 

Once again our lives have been impacted by the sting of death.  Once again we have to say goodbye to someone that we hold dear to us, today it is our beloved Aunt Carole.  Once again we are called to walk the path of loosing someone we love.  Knowing this, I want to challenge everyone to love freely and deeply, forgive freely and immediately, and hold your loved ones close because we are not promised tomorrow, ever.