THE GIFT OF LIFE

 

I firmly believe that all life is precious.  All babies are a gift from God, no matter how long we have the opportunity to have them in our lives; they are a unique and special gift.  This week I was given that reminder of what life is and should be; a true gift.

This week has been a whirlwind.  Mom was diagnosed with cancer on Tuesday and had surgery to remove it on Thursday.  There was no real time to digest the information, it was here’s what’s going on and boom let’s deal with it.  Add to it the fact that Mom’s surgery was in the same hospital with her recovery in the room right next to where I stayed when I lost my son just four days AFTER his due date, and I was not okay.  I had built up what it was going to be in my mind, I just knew I was not going to survive the experience.  BUT, I did.

Last night Robert and I went to the hospital to visit Mom.  When the nurse came into the room Robert and I stepped out, I walked down to the nursery and saw two little babies in their bassinets.  One was being cared for by a nurse and the other was being kept in an incubator on monitors.  Both little ones had dark black hair on their heads.  Both were so tiny, precious, and beautiful.  Seeing both of them did bring tears to my eyes.  BUT I knew that they weren’t mine.  My son is resting safely in the arms of Christ, being rocked by the ultimate healer and I was okay with that.  I still miss him, but I know his life has value, even if I don’t understand why and what happened.

Then we arrived home.  The kiddos had spent some time with Mimi and Aunt Lanie and had gotten the mail for us (Mimi let Ethan drive to the mailbox, he was so proud).  In the mail was a beautiful card of a baby’s hand cradled in the hand of an adult.  It was from the Crisis Pregnancy Care Center out of Highlands County.  Inside the card was a beautiful  handwritten note that stated that a gift had been given in memory of Samuel to help save the lives of other babies.  We support the Pregnancy Center.  We believe that all life is sacred and should be treated as such.  We believe in their mission of helping women who think they can't handle a baby see what a blessing their little one really is.  God in His wisdom knew this and knew that this experience would help bring healing.  His timing with the visit to the nursery and the card were perfect as always!

I miss Samuel.  I miss the smell of a little baby, the sounds of a little one, and the feel of him in my arms.  BUT, thanks to God, cancer, and the gift of life I am healing, and maybe  just maybe another baby will live because of Samuel ,because of the child that I love so much but I lost.  That is a legacy I can be proud of.