DECEMBER 5TH, OUR ANNIVERSARY

Robert and I have been married for 17 years.  This fact astounds me, how can we be married for so long?  Where has time gone?  How did we get here?  Are we really getting that close to 40? How can we be that old, yesterday we were just 16 and 17 year old kids!?

Our anniversary started off as any typical Friday would. Robert got up to get ready for work.   I got up and started my day with the kiddos.  Maggie stumbled out of her room, grabbed a cup of coffee and sheepishly grinned at us. 

“Happy Anniversary,” she mumbled.  “How does it feel to be married 17 years?” 

Robert and I glanced at each other.  It doesn’t FEEL like anything spectacular or over the top special.  In reality it felt like any other hectic morning.  Kids need feeding, baby’s need diaper changes, and lunches need to be made, daily outlines discussed.  Nope nothing overtly special about this morning, it’s just another Friday here in our version of paradise.  So Robert answered her with complete and total honesty.

“Today is just a day, but if it weren’t for Christ, your Mom and I wouldn’t be here.  Jesus is the reason we are still married and why today is special.”  I could tell that this was NOT the response she was looking for.  Her eyes got really big and she sipped her coffee in silence.  BUT, I knew another question was forming.

“Do y’all even still love each other?” 

The answer Maggie, John Robert, Ethan, Cole, Jacob, and everyone else is YES!  Yes after 17 years of marriage we do still love each other.  Ours is not a young love any more.  You won’t find us calling each other just to hear the sound of the other person’s voice.  You won’t find us making googly eyes and puppy dog faces at each other anymore.  Those are the gestures of youth, and we are beyond our youth.  Ours is also not a comfortable love.  Oh I am certain that there are ways that we take each other for granted and it is true that we are comfortable enough with each other to be totally transparent in ways that the world and our children don’t get to see, but I wouldn’t say we have a comfortable love.  To me, ours is a maturing love.  It’s maturing because we aren’t there yet, we are still a work in progress. 

For us, love is little things.  It’s me tapping Robert on the shoulder at night and having him roll over and hold me.  It’s me sliding my freezing feet under his in the bed at 2 AM and him not saying a word but getting out of the warmth and comfort of the bed, grabbing his wool socks, putting them on my feet, and then tucking my feet under his legs.  Love is me making a huge pot of coffee, pouring the exact amount in the cup with the right spoonful of sugar, and making sure it’s ready with his Bible for his morning devotions.  (And I HATE coffee and the smell of it so for me that is a huge thing, HA!).  It’s me making sure his lunch box is ready to go so he can make his sandwiches in the morning (he doesn’t like how I spread the mayo!), or even putting the toilet paper where it rolls over since this is the “RIGHT” way to do it.

Love is the phone calls when I need to be encouraged the most so he calls just to check on me.  It’s the texts that contain Bible verses and the promise that he is being prayed for as his day gets stressful.  Love is ensuring that we both have a little downtime and the opportunity to pursue our own interests and likes.  Love is holding hands and holding babies.  Love is active, flirting, and pursing each other daily.    Love is an action.  Love is purposeful. Love takes work.

Our anniversary started off as any normal Friday, but it didn’t end that way.  Robert surprised me with a night out at Texas Cattle Company.  He planned the perfect date night, right down to taking a picture of the big Christmas tree on Mirror Lake in Lakeland just because he knew I would like it.  He ordered us dessert and when the waitress brought us our cakes with candles to make a celebratory wish, he smiled at me and we wished for 100 more years together. He even planned on getting ice cream so the kiddos could celebrate with us when we got home.  That my dear children is love. 

I am so thankful that I get to spend my life with Robert.  I am so thankful that God gave us to each other.  I am so thankful that I have been married to him for 17 years.  My wish is indeed for 100 more years together.  With God’s grace, we will reach that dream and continue to live in love.