In Our Family, Communication is Key

On any given day at any given moment we are busy.  Having four children, a husband who works one full time job and picks up part time work as he can, homeschooling, and then being in school myself our lives are forever busy.  The one thing that we need is to be able to communicate effectively to maintain our crazy lives.  Here are three hints that we use to ensure that there is effective and clear communication within our family.

1.       Be willing to actively listen.  There is a big difference between hearing someone and really listening to what is being said.  This holds true for reading any messages as well.  If a person in the family, making eye contact, repeating key phrases, and in general showing respect and a desire to understand is crucial.  If you are reading a note, respond in a kind manner rephrasing key elements so that the writer knows that you understand.  All of this goes into the category of actively listening, the first crucial key to effective communication.

2.      Offer feedback in the right way.  Having young children means that there will be some squabbles.  Truthfully, there will be more squabbles than I care to mention or truly desire, but there will be squabbles nonetheless.  One of the best was to minimize these squabbles is to  try to offer thanks for any job that is done, even if it is not done to my satisfaction.  I am sure that most people know the old adage: “You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.”  In short using kind words that are sweetened with love will have a better impact than using words that will cut or hurt.  This can be a difficult thing for children to learn, but it is important for them to learn.  This also holds true in the business world or when dealing with those pesky insurance claims adjustors.

3.      Give information in a clear and concise manner.  This is hard for some people to remember.  It is easy to get bogged down in unnecessary details.  When dealing with children, and let’s be honest our spouses, simple and direct are best.  For example, if I want my children to put their clothes away, I hand them their clothes and tell them that their jammies go in their jammies drawer.  While I am having them put their clothes away, they know exactly what is expected of them and where the clothes are to go.  Likewise, if I need something from my amazing husband, simple and direct is best.  After all, I haven’t met a man yet that could read my mind and know exactly what I want without spelling it out……..maybe one day! <SIGH>

There you have it.  Three simple steps to communicating that I think are the keys to everything.  Actively listening, kindness in giving feedback, and keeping it simple are things that I think we should all take to heart.   Now if I could just fin three simple steps for making chores disappear all together than I would be one happy woman!